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HarderFaster Forums >> Lighthearted Banter >> My cat's annoyed.

 
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louloubell
Back on the naughty step

Registered: Apr 2003
Posts: 14578 - Threads: 1031
Location: On my merry go roundabout

Quote:
Matt wrote on 18-05-2011 02:37 PM

Can't resist:

The Dog's Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


The Cat's Diary

Day 983 of My Captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...





Laughs out loud

This is why dogs rule!! Faithful companions unlike those evil moggies!

Karma is a beautiful thing.

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Old Post16-10-2017 18:10 PM
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5709

Registered: Jul 2003
Posts: 37053 - Threads: 2585
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Poll Winner!
2016
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Meltdown
Winner
Redeeming

Cats are shit.

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Old Post17-10-2017 17:43 PM
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pieman

Registered: Mar 2013
Posts: 2532 - Threads: 4
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Quote:
5709 wrote on 17-10-2017 05:43 PM

Cats are shit.



Did you know its legal to take cocaine if you do it through a cat?

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Old Post14-11-2017 09:15 AM
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voodoobass
a table, mes enfants...

Registered: Sep 2003
Posts: 33900 - Threads: 985
Location: somewhere else

Quote:
pieman wrote on 14-11-2017 09:15 AM

Did you know its legal to take cocaine if you do it through a cat?



I think that's M-cat

soundcloud.com/voodoobass
mixcloud.com/voodoobass

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Old Post17-11-2017 20:00 PM
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Matt
V2.0

Registered: Apr 2002
Posts: 17728 - Threads: 847
Location: Surrey



Poll Winner!
2016
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Party Animal

Quote:
5709 wrote on 17-10-2017 05:43 PM

Cats are shit.



Which produces the world's most expensive coffee...


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kopi_Luwak

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Old Post20-11-2017 10:12 AM
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kerb

Registered: Nov 2005
Posts: 24383 - Threads: 1623
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Quote:
5709 wrote on 17-10-2017 05:43 PM

A cat shit in my messy garden





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Old Post20-12-2017 13:02 PM
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