Guile A magnificent animal of a man
Registered: Sep 2001 Posts: 2659 - Threads: 68 Location: A wretched hive of scum and villainy
|
Hi, and a warm welcome back to:
"YOU ARE THE..."
Brought to you by the makers of the popular hafa thread series:
"WHAT'S MY CRIME?"
This series of threads will put you in different situations were you must use your Criminal Anthropology skill set to achieve success.
In this week's episode...
"YOU ARE THE... BEST FRIEND"
YOUR HOUSEMATE IS A VERY BEAUTIFUL GIRL, WHO FINDS YOU FUNNY, WARM AND GREAT FUN TO BE WITH.
Click here to view original image
Sadly she has made it clear to you that are permanently in the "friend zone" and will never leave that dark place. But for you when she walks in a room the air rushes out. For you the sun shines brighter when she is around.
You help her pick out her clothes, you gawp at her getting dressed and you watch as she puts her make-up on before she goes on dates with other men.
You pathetic sap.
She has told you she despairs of meeting a man she can find true love with. Her girl friends have told her online dating doesn’t have to be scary. That it's one of the fastest growing ways to find love, that singles of every age, from every walk of life are trying internet dating; and in the UK alone, 5 million people have tried it. She is sold on the idea, and has signed up to TINDER.
She has a track record of dating completely unsuitable BAD BOYS. You of course being a student of Criminal Anthropology know how features like bald heads, beady eyes and carefully ironed jeans [for example] are red hot indicators of criminality.
Sitting by her on your two seater couch one hot summer evening, you can smell her perfume, occasionally look down her top without her knowing and sometimes her leg rubs against yours when you make her laugh; she smilingly passes you her phone,and shows you the pictures of the men she wants to date and asks you for your honest opinion...
aaaaaaaaaand
You quickly realise that ALL the men she has chosen are CRIMINAL REPROBATES but only ONE of the following may have a SHRED of RESPECT for the love of your life, while the others are evil rotten bastards who will hurt, abuse and possibly MURDER your beautiful, sweet, sexy, gorgeous but oh so dim best friend in the most horrific manner before you can say "¡Donnie!".
This episode is a KOBAYASHI MARU scenario, in that ALL the mugs here are rotters, but one is a whole lot less rotten than the others, and will only break her heart leaving you to pick up the pieces, instead of breaking her nose, arms, legs and neck...
Which of the following are you going to recommend that your B.F.F. dates?
HERE WE GO!
Let's play:
"YOU ARE THE... BEST FRIEND"
STEPHEN
Click here to view original image
STEFAN
Click here to view original image
MICHAEL
Click here to view original image
GARETH
Click here to view original image
DEREK
Click here to view original image
JORDAN
Click here to view original image
MATTHEW
Click here to view original image
Remember: It's just for fun.
I will publish the results of everyone's choice of boyfriend next week.
Earlier episodes of
"YOU ARE THE..."
can be found here:
#1 THE INVESTOR
For players who are new to the Theory of Criminal Anthropology, [where have you been?] here are some crib notes:
Anthropological criminology is the study of humans and criminals, based on links between the nature of the crime and the appearance of the offender. According to this theory the following details are common in all criminals:
Large nostrils; wide, thinnish lips; deep set, beady eyes; large forehead; carefully ironed jeans; a thin neck and stubby toes.
though i spend my time in ashes and smoke
in this whole wide world there's no happier bloke
Report this post to a moderator |
IP: Logged
|