Private1
Registered: Aug 2002 Posts: 40942 - Threads: 1198 Location: London
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A photon checks into a hotel and the Bellhop asks him if he has any luggage.
The photon replies "No, I'm traveling light"
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The past, the present and the future walked into a bar.
It was tense.
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When I was a kid, my english teacher looked my way and said, "Name two pronouns."
I said, "Who, Me?"
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What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass?
Beer.
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The first rule of tautology club is the first rule of tautology club.
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Why cant you trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.
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What do you call two crows on a branch?
Attempted murder.
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A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5ft to the left.
The chemist takes a shot and misses 5ft to the right, the statistician yells "We got 'em!"
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It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
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Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
He's 0k now.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
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Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer, the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here."
HE doesn't react.
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What is a physicist's favorite food?
Fission chips.
Remember to always be yourself... unless you suck, then pretend to be someone else.
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