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Guile A magnificent animal of a man
Registered: Sep 2001 Posts: 2659 - Threads: 68 Location: A wretched hive of scum and villainy
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Hi, and a warm welcome back to:
"YOU ARE THE..."
Brought to you by the makers of the popular hafa thread series:
"WHAT'S MY CRIME?"
This series of threads will put you in different situations were you must use your Criminal Anthropology skill set to achieve success.
In this week's episode...
"YOU ARE THE... DRUG DEALER"
Being a good drug dealer takes skills that are useful in any professional environment: social skills, initiative, discipline, and being able to tell at a glance if somebody is about to buy a shitload of drugs, or if they are UNDERCOVER COPS.
You of course are no drug dealer, but like everyone else in the modern world you have a friend who has a friend...
Early doors one morning at low tide our participants are giving their S.U.V. a workout on the beach; when they spot a mountain of sports bags sitting on the sand. Close investigation revealed them to be full of high quality cocaine.
Click here to view original image
In order to avoid detection, our would be drug dealers hastily fill their vehicle with cocaine and leave the scene of the crime. Later on the discover they are now the proud owner of some 243.75 kilos of primo Colombian cocaine - all nicely packaged for selling.
Two problems, the police know a large quantity of cocaine has been washed up on the beach [they say 360kg] and the owners know the true total is much much higher and they are searching for it.
Moving quickly our contestants are soon ensconced in a flat with a metal security door complete with spy hole, 240 kilo of product, 0.735 kilo of percy and a shooter.
Just like in the movies...
Click here to view original image
...THERE'S NO BUSINESS LIKE BLOW BUSINESS, IT'S LIKE NO BUSINESS I KNOW...
The Colombian gang [who own all the cocaine] are looking for the cocaine and the police will want some of the action too. Our boys have 24 hours to SELL SELL SELL then obviously get the hell out of there.
In the next 24 hours there will be 7 or 8 callers to their flat each wanting to buy different amounts. One of them will be an undercover cop. Can our would be dealers spot the good guy amongst the criminals and refuse to sell them cocaine?
Ready?
Aaaaaaaaaaand lets play:
"YOU ARE THE... DRUG DEALER"
GEORGE KARANJA.
DRUG DEALER. POLICE STOPPED HIS CAR ON SUS, HIS MOBILE PHONE HAD INCRIMINATING TEXT MESSAGES OFFERING SPECIAL DEALS FOR "GIRL" & "BOY" ADDITIONALLY DETAILS OF A HOTEL BOOKING IN PLYMOUTH. ON SEARCHING THE HOTEL ROOM POLICE FOUND GIRL AND BOY a.k.a. COCAINE AND HEROIN, ALSO WET WIPES AND VASELINE. KARANJA HAD TRIED TO GET OUT OF DRUG DEALING BUT WAS STABBED IN THE KNEE. HIS DEFENCE LAWYER SAID HE WAS "EASILY LED"
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PAUL WILLIAMS.
POLICE CALLED HIM "MISTER BIG". DRUG DEALER. FORMER SCAFFOLDER, HAD A COLLECTION OF HANDGUNS INCLUDING A MAGNUM, A REPUTATION FOR VIOLENCE AND RULED HIS EVIL EMPIRE BY FEAR AND INTIMIDATION. HAD DRUGS STASHED IN DEAD LETTER BOXES ALL OVER THE PLACE.
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KURT LEE BURGESS.
DRUG DEALER. 22 PREVIOUS CONVICTIONS INCLUDING POSSESSION OF AN IMITATION FIREARM, ROBBERY AND DRUG DEALING. HAD TRIED TO GO STRAIGHT BUT WAS "BACK AT IT AGAIN". ON SEARCHING HIS FLAT POLICE FOUND COCAINE, CUTTING AGENTS AND DEALERS LISTS. HIS BANK ACCOUNT HAD LARGE AMOUNTS OF CASH REGULARLY BEING PAID IN WHICH HE COULDN'T OFFER A LEGITIMATE REASON FOR.
Click here to view original image
JAMES BANNON.
UNDERCOVER POLICE OFFICER.
Click here to view original image
"THE GOOD GUY"
MARK JOHNSTON.
DRUG DEALER. "ARROGANT" COCAINE KINGPIN PUT TRACKERS ON POLICE CARS, HAD GONE TO EXTRAORDINARY LENGTHS TO AVOID DETECTION USING SOPHISTICATED METHODS. USED HIS HIGH END CAR DEALING BUSINESS AS A FRONT FOR HIS LUCRATIVE COCAINE BUSINESS. CAUGHT WITH SEVERAL KILOS OF HIGH PURITY COCAINE AND BAGS OF CASH.
Click here to view original image
FRANCES POWELL.
DRUG DEALER. GRANDMOTHER STORED DRUGS IN HER HOME. WHEN ONE OF HER CUSTOMERS OVERDOSED SHE WAS A PALL BEARER, EVEN BOUGHT A FLAG TO DRAPE OVER HIS COFFIN. STOPPED PLAYING WITH HER GRANDCHILDREN IN A PARK TO TAKE A DRUG DELIVERY. "FLOODED THE AREA SHE LIVED IN WITH LETHAL DRUGS" JUDGE SAID SHE WAS "A TRULY WICKED WOMAN".
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DWAYNE MARLON JACKSON.
DRUG DEALER. RAN AN EMPIRE OF FOOT SOLDIERS IN HIRED CARS CENTRED AROUND A MOBILE PHONE KNOWN AS THE "D LINE". UNDERCOVER OFFICERS MADE SEVERAL TEST PURCHASES AS PART OF OPERATION NO DEAL BEFORE ARRESTING HIM. CAUGHT WITH COCAINE, HEROIN, CANNABIS AND CASH.
Click here to view original image
JAMES BROWN.
"COKE KO'S MILLIONAIRE'S CONK"
MILLIONAIRE PROPERTY DEVELOPER. MADE ENOUGH MONEY TO RETIRE TO PORTUGAL AT 36. USED HUGE QUANTITIES OF COCAINE ON A DAILY BASIS, CAUSING HIS NOSE TO COLLAPSE, SEVERE HEART PROBLEMS AND RAGING PARANOIA. POLICE FOUND COCAINE IN AIR VENTS AND THE FOLDING ROOF OF HIS £120,000 BENTLEY. OFFICERS ALSO FOUND A 9MM SEMI AUTOMATIC WALTHER PP1 PISTOL AS FAVOURED BY JAMES BOND, A RUSSIAN 9MM TULA TOKAREV, A RIFLE AND AMMUNITION IN HIS LUXURY HOTEL ROOM.
Quote:
| danj wrote on 21-05-2018 11:24 AM
He's actually a top geezer.
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SHAWN O'MALLEY.
DRUG DEALER. SUPPLIED CANNABIS, HEROIN, COCAINE AND ECSTASY. USED SAFE HOUSES ALL OVER THE COUNTRY TO STORE DRUGS.
Click here to view original image
Aaaaaaaaaaaaand now for the results, did our would be drug barons spot the undercover policeman? Lets see how they did in their new career:
"YOU ARE THE... DRUG DEALER"
Quote:
| danj wrote on 18-05-2018 09:53 AM
Kurt.
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Oh dear. danj let undercover cops into his flat and tried to sell them cocaine. By the time they had finished with him, he was charged and convicted with downloading child porn category 6, wearing full drag at the time of his arrest, a collection of stolen knickers in a suitcase shakily labelled in his handwriting saying: "PANTIES" [the Daily Mail will pay £800 for that btw] a gun that actually did shoot the sheriff and his deputy with his dabs all over it; aaaand oh yes - a mere 9 kilos of cocaine. [pffft! make that 4]
Sure he paid for Plods Christmas Parties till this years recruits retire, but he couldn't be left walking and talking.
You can see that can't you danj?
"Do you feel lucky punk? Well do you?"
Click here to view original image
RESULT: "Say goodnight to the bad guy!"
Quote:
| Matt wrote on 18-05-2018 11:09 AM
Mark is a strong contender.
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Oh dear. Matt let undercover cops into his flat and tried to sell them cocaine. By the time they had finished with him, he was charged and convicted with downloading child porn category 6, wearing full drag at the time of his arrest, a collection of stolen knickers in a suitcase shakily labelled in his handwriting saying: "PANTIES" [the Daily Mail will pay £800 for that btw] a gun that actually did shoot the sheriff and his deputy with his dabs all over it; aaaand oh yes - a mere 9 kilos of cocaine. [pffft! make that 4]
Sure he paid for Plods Christmas Parties till this years recruits retire, but he couldn't be left walking and talking.
You can see that can't you Matt?
"Look at me. I'm going to do this to you. I want you to remember me sweetheart"
Click here to view original image
RESULT: "Say goodnight to the bad guy!"
Quote:
| Latex Zebra wrote on 18-05-2018 12:14 PM
Mark... You can buy my drugs.
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Latex makes a good choice here, but Mark could only afford to buy 23 kilos that weekend. It would take him a few more weeks to raise the funds for the full 240 kilos. Regretfully the Colombians catch up with LZ long before Mark can raise the cash.
“I want you to find this nancy boy Latex Zebra and I want him dead, I want his family dead, I want his house burned to the ground! I wanna go out in the middle o’ the night and piss on his ashes!”
Click here to view original image
RESULT: "All right, you proved your point. You stole our coke. Congratulations, you’re a dead man."
Quote:
| Quin. wrote on 18-05-2018 12:49 PM
Shawn ain't getting none of my beak, he reeks of 5-0.
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Oh dear. Quin. let undercover cops into his flat and tried to sell them cocaine. By the time they had finished with him, he was charged and convicted with downloading child porn category 6, wearing full drag at the time of his arrest, a collection of stolen knickers in a suitcase shakily labelled in his handwriting saying: "PANTIES" [the Daily Mail will pay £800 for that btw] a gun that actually did shoot the sheriff and his deputy with his dabs all over it; aaaand oh yes - a mere 9 kilos of cocaine. [pffft! make that 4]
Sure he paid for Plods Christmas Parties till this years recruits retire, but he couldn't be left walking and talking.
You can see that can't you Quin.?
"We're the police, sweetheart. Your civil liberties are about to be violated"
Click here to view original image
RESULT: "Say goodnight to the bad guy!"
Quote:
| Coops wrote on 18-05-2018 01:54 PM
I was veering towards George but Frances has the look of bacon.
So I am going to turn Frances away and sell to all the others.
Most coppers I have met are bang into the charlie anyway so I think I'll be OK.
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Oh dear Coops let undercover cops into the flat and tried to sell them cocaine. Coops was right, plod do love the chisel, but he was sitting in a flat modified for dealing drugs with a dirty shooter and some 240 KILOS of the hottest cocaine in the U.K.
He was never going to be ok. That's 480,000 grammes of pubdust retailing for £40 per gramme at street level.
= £19,200,000
By the time they've finished with him, Coops was charged with downloading child porn category 6, wearing full drag at the time of his arrest, a collection of stolen knickers in a suitcase shakily labelled in his handwriting saying: "PANTIES" [the Daily Mail will pay £800 for that btw] a gun that actually did shoot the sheriff and his deputy with his dabs all over it; aaaand oh yes - a mere 9 kilos of cocaine. [pffft! make that 4]
Sure he paid for Plods Christmas Parties till this years recruits retire, but he couldn't be left walking and talking.
You can see that can't you Coops?
"Well, a criminal resists and they get shot! Just another day in paradise."
Click here to view original image
RESULT: "Say goodnight to the bad guy!"
A difficult episode to be fair, with no real winners, just like in real life. If you are interested the inspiration for this thread and what happened to the hapless fool who found mountains of cocaine in sports bags on the beach, but could only carry 2 or 3 kilos away, then click HERE
Kerb applauded the effort made in bringing the futility of crime to the forum but felt he couldn't play as the thread encouraged its participants to act as judge, jury, executioner and exploiter of unfortunates. Which is a good point.
REMEMBER: It's just for fun. Just a little bit of fun.
Thank you to everyone for playing, and for the positive feedback. It's all about you guys. See you next time!
Earlier episodes of
"YOU ARE THE..."
can be found here:
#1 THE INVESTOR
#2 THE BEST FRIEND
For players who are new to the Theory of Criminal Anthropology, [where have you been?] here are some crib notes:
Anthropological criminology is the study of humans and criminals, based on links between the nature of the crime and the appearance of the offender. According to this theory the following details are common in all criminals:
Wrinkles on forehead and face; large incisors; small or weak chin; protruding jug ears; carefully ironed jeans.
Sometimes she shines, and I know
Beauty has her way
With her looks and her grace
Beauty has her way
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24-05-2018 11:02 AM |
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Matt V2.0
Registered: Apr 2002 Posts: 17728 - Threads: 847 Location: Surrey
2016 | Honourable Mention Party Animal
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Quote:
| Guile wrote on 24-05-2018 12:02 PM
JAMES BANNON.
UNDERCOVER POLICE OFFICER.
Click here to view original image
"THE GOOD GUY"
A difficult episode to be fair, with no real winners, just like in real life. If you are interested the inspiration for this thread and what happened to the hapless fool who found mountains of cocaine in sports bags on the beach, but could only carry 2 or 3 kilos away, then click HERE
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Oops, busted, although I don't suppose Bannon looked like that when he was plod.
Quote:
| The worst things got was the night in the pub with the nervy drug dealer, when Bannon was encouraged to pretend to be a copper, and nick him for a laugh. "I was an undercover cop pretending to be a hooligan pretending to be an undercover cop," he recalls, laughing wildly. Fellow officer Chris told him not to, but Bannon, high on adrenaline, read the dealer his rights with such steely conviction, the entire pub came to a standstill.
The Bushwhackers were suddenly suspicious. How had he managed to sound quite so convincing? "I just told them I'd watched a lot of The Bill. How else would I know what to say, right?" Later that night, and not for the first time, Chris accused him of enjoying his role perhaps a little too much. |
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24-05-2018 11:50 AM |
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