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Guile A magnificent animal of a man
Registered: Sep 2001 Posts: 2659 - Threads: 68 Location: A wretched hive of scum and villainy
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[Edited by Guile on 06-10-2018 01:39 AM][Edited by Guile on 06-10-2018 16:58 PM] [Edited by Guile on 11-10-2018 21:51 PM] THE DAY HAS COME
THE TIME IS NOW
KING CON
NOBODY CAN GIVE YOU FREEDOM
IF YOU ARE A MAN
YOU JUST TAKE IT
KING CON
THE GRAND FINALE
THE MONEY
THE DRUGS
THE WOMEN
THE POWER
THE RESPECT
A Criminal Anthropology Simulation Master Class
Contains offensive and despicable content that is too controversial and too fucking awesome for children. The stark, ugly, profound truths KING CON exposes may be soul crushing to the weak of spirit. If you allow a child to read this thread you are a bad parent or guardian. Contains strong action violence and highly sexualised posing.
Ready?
Well it's time to find out who is:
KING CON
Which of our
BAD MANZ
is the
TOP DOG
in the hive of scum and villainy that is:
H.M.P. Hafa Towers?
KING CON
2018
A lot of HaFa members are
just killing time.
BUT
One of our
TOP DOGS
is
KILLING CATS!
AND NOW...
THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH
This magnificent 10" gold plated trophy
is the reward for winning:
KING CON
2018
THE INSIGHT YOU WANT
THE INFORMATION YOU NEED
PRESENTING IN REVERSE ORDER:
Latex Zebra
current RESPECT points: 63
LOOKING LIKE THE DOGS BOLLOCKS = 3
ESCAPE ARTIST = 7
Special RESPECT bonus unlocked:
BREAKING NEWS ON TV = 5
Special RESPECT bonus unlocked:
MAKING THE HEADLINES = 5
POACHER TURNED GAMEKEEPER TEST SCORED 65% = 7
BUSINESS AS USUAL = 6
NEW TOTAL = 96
>>>LATEX ZEBRA: LION STRENGTH, MAMBA SPEED AND JACKAL CUNNING<<<
Showing his well publicised mad love for the old school, Latex Zebra had no hesitation in doing a runner with John Massey, as the man's credentials were blue chip old school gangster - the epitome of a diamond geezer.
Latex Zebra unlocked the
BREAKING NEWS ON T.V.
and the
MAKING THE HEADLINES
secret RESPECT bonuses.
Although Massey was recaptured after three days on the run, he never gave up any details of where Latex Zebra might be or where they had been.
It is surely coincidence that Massey's old mum had a significant win in the local betting shop some weeks later with her very first bet, which enabled her to pay for a life saving operation in America, an operation that cured her cancer. She now goes on 5 star holidays 3 times a year to Malaga and pays for all her family to go with her.
The level of fame and the blood soaked niche he carved for himself during his stay at H.M.P. HaFa Towers guarantee Latex Zebra a place in the Rogues Gallery of famous criminals, alongside such alumni as Ronnie Biggs, the Kray twins and mad Frankie Fraser.
Senior Prison Warden scenario
Mr Zebra was awarded a PASS. Exhibiting a consistent lack of empathy and willingness to abuse power; traits he displayed consistently throughout the simulation.
Business as Usual
With JENKS, ABDU and THE LEWIS TWINS to take care of his empire on the inside, H.M.P. HaFa Towers will continue to provide a revenue stream for Latex Zebra for years to come.
Behaviour Analysis
For Latex Zebra, this exercise has revealed that civilization for him is but a thin veneer, the lightest scratch unleashes the CRAZY HORSE lurking inside him that inhabits a senseless world of violence for the sake of violence, a creature that lives recklessly on forbidden thrills.
"Judge me in hell!" he shouted at the judge about to pronounce sentence on him before he came to H.M.P. HaFa Towers.
By anyone's standards his whole life will be judged as an orgy of sin. The first love of his life, an evil sex-crazed woman first introduced him to that underworld of dark passions. It was in the jazz clubs she took him to that he first practiced the degraded perverse pleasures he is famous for.
That first brutal weekend of jazz and junk, his passions swirling with the reefer smoke, as dissonant and savage as the jazz coming from the band, Latex Zebra took a terrifying trip through the soul jazz clubs, bizarre sex clubs and the sinister "numbers" club of London’s seething Brixton scene.
A trip that would hurricane and buffet Latex Zebra's emotions to the inevitable orgiastic, wild and frantic crescendo we saw only too often in the simulation. Needless to say in that strange, savage world of night people, hot music and cool jazz he became the undisputed king.
Jazz is his life, it's his triumph and his tragedy.
For now though we must leave him in a hotel room snorting 6-APB off a a young lady's bosoms. She is wearing either the latest thing in jazzy bathing suits or nothing at all.
WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR LATEX ZEBRA?
"A BROODING NIGHTMARE OF DIMLY PERCEIVED EVIL"
RESPECT!
wykah
current RESPECT points: 51
LOOKING LIKE THE DOGS BOLLOCKS = 3
ESCAPE ARTIST = 7
Special RESPECT bonus unlocked:
BREAKING NEWS ON TV = 5
Special RESPECT bonus unlocked:
MAKING THE HEADLINES = 5
POACHER TURNED GAMEKEEPER SCORED 63% = 6
BUSINESS AS USUAL = 4
NEW TOTAL = 81
>>>HIS MIND IS THE ULTIMATE WEAPON<<<
Deciding to escape H.M.P. HaFa Towers wykah went for the most sensible and direct method to achieve his aims. He just loves defying the odds with everyday stuff.
The tale of a fellow convict John Massey, who was idolised by his grandson touched wykah's heart. The youth was heading for a life of crime and the Home Office wouldn't grant Massey compassionate leave to see the lad and convince him to go straight.
wykah showed Massey how to duct tape old gym netting together to make a ladder and together they broke out of H.M.P. HaFa Towers and showed the world a clean pair of heels.
Massey gave himself up after three days on the run, having talked with his grandson and seen his old mum. "I promised wykah" was all he said as he handed himself in.
It is perhaps coincidence that Massey's grandson, a previously troubled youth swerved a life of crime when he went to stay at the CHALLENGERS CLUB a non-profit inner city youth centre. He gave up gang culture and his involvement in county lines. A mysterious sponsor paid for him to realise his ambitions and study medicine at Kings College London. A bright future beckons.
wykah unlocked the
|
BREAKING NEWS ON T.V.
and the
MAKING THE HEADLINES
secret RESPECT bonuses.
The level of fame and the blood soaked niche he carved for himself during his stay in H.M.P. HaFa Towers guarantee wykah a permanent place in the Rogues Gallery of infamous criminals, alongside such alumni as Moriarty, Frank Abagnale and Murdoc.
Senior Prison Warden scenario
Mr wykah was awarded a PASS. Exhibiting a commendable lack of empathy and abuse of power, throughout this simulation he has shown that saving the day is all in a days work for him.
Business as Usual
With ABDU and THE LEWIS TWINS to take care of his empire on the inside, H.M.P. HaFa Towers will continue to provide a revenue stream for wykah for years to come.
Behaviour Analysis
A non-violent problem solver, this simulation has forced wykah to compromise some of his principles. He fought to find a way to minimize physical harm and never lost his passion for social causes and the environment. Combine this with his extensive knowledge of physics and chemistry, his mountain climbing and racing cars, painting and playing the guitar, this criminal masterclass for wykah has been AN EPIC OF A GENIUS AT BAY. It could go either way. With his [t]rusty Sheriff's badge, roll of duct tape and some paperclips wykah can rob any bank, using the same items and some shoelaces dipped in cooking oil he could also save the entire gorilla population of the Democratic Republic of Congo.
For now though we must leave him in his houseboat cooking up a BOMB
WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR WYKAH?
"YOU DON'T NEED A WEAPON IF YOU'RE ARMED WITH AN IMAGINATION!"
RESPECT!
pieman
current RESPECT points: 67
LOOKING LIKE THE DOGS BOLLOCKS = 3
BUSINESS AS USUAL = 5
NEW TOTAL = 75
>>>PIEMAN: CRIMINALITY BRED IN THE MAW OF A FURIOUS TEMPEST<<<
Impossibly glamorous and under educated, pieman is most certainly a psychopath. He is not crazy; he is fully aware of what he is doing, and the consequences of those actions. There can only be one reason pieman has not come out of his cell yet again this week.
The level of fame and the blood soaked niche he carved for himself during his stay in H.M.P. HaFa Towers guarantee pieman a permanent place in the Rogues Gallery of infamous criminals, alongside such alumni as David Hunt, Billy Hill and Tony Montana.
Business as Usual
With JENKS, ALEX and THE LEWIS TWINS to take care of his empire on the inside, H.M.P. HaFa Towers will continue to provide a revenue stream for pieman for years to come.
Behaviour Analysis
In pieman’s neighbourhood, where he grew up the kids carried knives, chains, bricks. Broken glass. And when they fight, they fight dirty, leaving the streets littered with the bodies of the injured and the dead. His childhood toys were knives, saps and zip guns.
How many men has this savage killed? Survival in the violence ridden social jungle he inhabits is a matter of brawn and cunning, a switch blade knife and the dark flight through alleys.
His life is not a pretty picture and in this simulation pieman has spared us no details of the death, the dope and the degenerate sex he has with the wild and wanton girls dancing and smoking gak he "picks up" in the cellar clubs of the west end.
pieman has shown he is aggressive and predatory in nature and without remorse. The other people he encounters are mere objects for his amusement and profit. Although lacking empathy, pieman has a disarming or even charming personality. Being manipulative means he can easily gain people’s trust, and will appear normal to unsuspecting people. His sick lust for the blood and pain of others ensures his criminal versatility is a tour de force
He is the dog who can be guaranteed to outwit the cops, make off with the dough and get the girl. Just don't get in his fucking way.
For now though, we must leave him, a sorry shadow of his former self, fucking around in H.M.P. HaFa Towers, a small time tough in a big time world.
|
WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR PIEMAN?
"FIGHTING GOOD FOR ALL MANKIND"
RESPECT!
Coops
current RESPECT points: 39
LOOKING LIKE THE DOGS BOLLOCKS = 3
ESCAPE ARTIST = 7
Special RESPECT bonus unlocked:
BREAKING NEWS ON TV = 5
Special RESPECT bonus unlocked:
MAKING THE HEADLINES = 5
BUSINESS AS USUAL = 5
NEW TOTAL = 64
>>>THE CARDS WERE STACKED UP AGAINST HIM ALL HIS LIFE, BUT HE CAME OUT WITH BOTH FISTS SWINGING LIKE A MAN<<<
Coops takes care of his family, and he also takes care of his FAM. Family are of course people who are actually blood relatives of Coops, but his FAM is made up of people who are very close friends and under his protection. Coops is very loyal to the core of people who he can rely on and who rely on him, be they blood relative or friend.
So when a cousin on his mothers side - John Massey came to Coops and explained he wanted to visit his dying sister and had been denied compassionate leave, Coops had no hesitation. Massey had escaped several times previously from jail - always to visit his family at times when they needed him most.
Quote:
| Coops:
"A man who doesn’t spend time with his family can never be a real man"
|
|
Coops was bored of jail life and this request gave him the impetus to up sticks and have it away on his toes with Massey. Massey gave himself up after three days on the run, having visited his dying sister and seen his old mum. "I promised Coops" was all he said as he handed himself in.
It is of course a coincidence that Massey's sister Carol had a full blown New Orleans style funeral complete with black horses with ostrich plumes drawing the coffin and a jazz band leading the funeral cortège. Afterwards Carol's young, orphaned daughter went to a finishing school in Switzerland and then went on to study particle physics at the University of Manchester; all paid for by some mysterious uncle who "lived abroad". A bright future beckons.
Coops unlocked the
|
BREAKING NEWS ON T.V.
and the
MAKING THE HEADLINES
secret RESPECT bonuses.
The level of fame and the blood soaked niche he carved for himself during his stay in H.M.P. HaFa Towers guarantee Coops a permanent place in the Rogues Gallery of infamous criminals, alongside such alumni as George Cornell, Kenneth Noye and Johnny Allen.
Business as Usual
With ABDU and ALEX to take care of his empire on the inside, H.M.P. HaFa Towers will continue to provide a revenue stream for Coops for years to come.
Behaviour Analysis
Coops is playing the long game with his career in crime. Fully aware that life is not a sprint he will always consider all the options before striking. If circumstances prevent him from being able to plan every move like a chess grandmaster before he agrees to a caper he will pass on what have previously turned out to be sound criminal opportunities. Coops is prepared for that as it also ensures he doesn't make mistakes. Some have taken this as a sign of weakness, these fools are not around any more.
His family and his FAM are very important to him and he will throw caution to the wind should they be threatened in any way. He is prepared to wait to dish out revenge but the inevitable retribution when it happens is merciless and bloody.
For now though, we must leave him spending time with his family on a Mediterranean holiday
WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR COOPS?
"WE WHO SIN"
RESPECT!
Voodoobass
current RESPECT points: 35
>>>A PSYCHOTIC WANTON LOST IN A WORLD OF SINSANITY<<<
What does he have that every woman wants?
The level of fame and the blood soaked niche he carved for himself during his stay in H.M.P. HaFa Towers guarantee Voodoobass a permanent place in the Rogues Gallery of infamous criminals, alongside such alumni as Mickey Green, Keith Raniere and Tommy Vercetti.
Behaviour Analysis
Voodoobass is at first glance, seen as a courteous man, a man of class and sophistication. He is charming, intelligent and extremely glib. This is a good observation, as Voodoobass truly believes himself to be all those things and wants everyone else to share this opinion.
When the mask slips, and it does slip, he is revealed as a master of manipulation and a cheap con artist. Voodoobass is a psychopath and a calculating sadist. He has no remorse or empathy for his victims.
Recall this maniac was transferred to Broadmoor, a prison for the criminally insane during this simulation. He has also spent time in solitary.
Is his sickness cause physical or psychological? Doctors are unsure, they have discovered no wonder-drug for the passionate fever that burns in him, although Voodoobass self medicates with the full alphabet soup of drugs his lifestyle gives him access to.
Some men will stoop to anything, as long as there women who will stoop with them. Was it cruelty for its own sake that intrigued these warped women? Or did each have a reason to hunger for the forbidden practices Voodoobass subjected them to?
Born to lust, he lives in sin.
For now though, we must leave him seeking to appease the fiery hungers that burn so intensely within his feverish body!
WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR VOODOOBASS?
|
"A BRUTAL HARD HITTING EXPOSE OF A MAN OBSESSED BY THRILL DRUGS AND UNCONTROLLABLE DESIRES!"
RESPECT!
kerb
Current RESPECT points= 15
>>>A RECKLESS YOUTH CORRODED BY SIN<<<
A daring life full of reefer smoke, crazy thrills and the wild love he gets from the tramp girl gangs of the city streets. His experiences are a biting indictment of a society blind to the needs of neglected youth. Hear his story and you'll never rest easy again.
Mandem know many things, but he's no grass!
For now we must leave him in H.M.P. HaFa Towers doing a ten year stretch
WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR KERB?
"THE STREET IS HIS JUNGLE AND TROUBLE IS HIS GAME!"
RESPECT!
Space
current RESPECT points: 6
>>>YOUR IMAGE IS YOUR REPUTATION<<<
The other con's are looking to Space to stop this senseless maelstrom of violence they are all being plunged into! However Space has other things on his mind. Things from the old days when he was on the out, the tawdry glamour and sordid lusts he freely indulged in, things sex mad Space can no longer have. He craves and refuses to acknowledge his cravings with reckless abandon.
An explosion is inevitable, and the wanton splurge of carnal lusts will shatter old loyalties, business arrangements, marriage ties, and even the degenerate cravings which had started the trouble in the first place.
For now though we must leave him in H.M.P. HaFa Towers doing a ten year stretch.
WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR SPACE?
"HE MIXES THE HEADY WINE OF ECSTASY WITH THE BITTER LIQUEUR OF SADISM!"
RESPECT!
5709
current RESPECT points: 6
>>>THE ONLY THING STRAIGHT ABOUT 5709 IS THE CREASE IN HIS JEANS<<<
5709 IS the face of lust. He is a fan of forbidden, secret practices. He dwells in a sick and twisted world. Every day his fellow degenerates come over to his cell and they bitch about drug prices, the menace of peeping toms, the lack of high bosoms on the wing, share "special" bedroom techniques, recall the ruthless lesbians they have known blah blah blah.
Is this group therapy or group sex? These guys are killing it, they're so fucking nasty. If only 5709 would just close his eyes then Scotland Yard would know all the details on their screens. There's sure to be a reward in it for him.
For now we must leave him in H.M.P. HaFa Towers doing a ten year stretch.
WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR 5709?
"SPICING HIS JADED LIFE WITH SORDID EXPERIMENTS!"
RESPECT!
ceeks
current RESPECT points: 6
>>>SHE AIN'T NO ENGLISHMAN AND SHE GOES OUT IN THE MIDDAY SUN<<<
Her body is brazen, her eyes bold — she is bad, and she knows it. Ceeks hates the grim prison, the corrupt warders, the rigid routine that is supposed to batter her into decency.
Brutal, compellingly honest, this is the story of the wild one, the reformatory girl who lives and loves by the laws of the street!
For now though we must leave her in H.M.P. HaFa Towers doing a ten year stretch.
WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR CEEKS?
"SOME BIRDS ARE NOT MEANT TO BE CAGED!"
RESPECT!
Quin.
current RESPECT points: 4
>>>DELIVERING ON THE PROMISE<<<
Quin. has been released from H.M.P. HaFa Towers.
On parole.
Wearing a tag.
Quin. will be able to claim JSA of £73.10 a week and maybe his local council will offer some pathetic financial assistance. He has a series of meetings set up with Probation, NACRO, and so on.
Saturday though he is catching up with his Fam, having a fancy hotdog in the Blind Beggar, then off with everyone to watch the football; sup a few pints in his local, have a laugh and a kebab after chucking out time; then back to his drum to sleep in his own bed and no-one is going to come knocking on his door, oh noes; none of that looking over your shoulder paranoid bullshit anymore for Quin.
For now though we must leave him waiting to discuss his claim with a bearded lady in the council offices.
WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR QUIN.?
"THE BAR RATTLERS PLAYING STAIRWAY TO HELL"
RESPECT!
talibandan
Current RESPECT points = 4
>>>TAKE A GOOD LOOK. IT REALLY IS YOUR LAST<<<
His is a tale of two cities one in the north and the other in the south.
A story of when two cultures clash.
talibandan’s adventures and travails as he struggles to deal with street life in the ghetto of the city and escape the clutches of a gang called the Thrill Mad Playboys who all compete with each other to be the "first to cut the cake" is a comical, bitter sweet and to be blunt - fucking ridiculous farce.
He worships reptiles. He blackens his eyes with soot like a prostitute. He dances and plays the cymbals.
Additionally drug dealing, pillow fights, prostitution, tartan skirts, unspeakable perverted practices, and gambling are rampant in his life. One day the inevitable police dragnet closed around him.
Even behind bars for talibandan it's unusual business as usual, and abnormal pleasures as normal!
For now though we must leave him in H.M.P. HaFa Towers doing a ten year stretch.
WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR TALIBANDAN?
"HE IS FORCED TO COMMIT THE LOWEST ACTS!"
RESPECT!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAND NOW...
The roll of the drums
The click of the semi automatic
The spliff of Congolese Red
The sneer of contempt
Your Life in his hands
Your Death on his mind
The shattering impact of this story
Is perhaps the most
EXPLOSIVE
seen since
HaFa BEGAN!
FORGET WHAT'S LEGAL
HE DOES WHAT'S RIGHT
THE STORY OF A MAN
THEY COULD NOT BREAK
THEY COULD NOT HUMILIATE
THEY COULD NOT INCARCERATE
HE IS
THE KING CON
>>>>>LATEX ZEBRA<<<<<
>>>MAXIMUM RESPECT<<<
ARCHIVES:
KC Ep#1 KC Bonus#1
KC Ep#2 KC Bonus#2
KC Ep#3 KC Bonus#3
KC Ep#4 KC Bonus#4
KC Ep#5 KC Bonus#5
KC Ep#6 KC Bonus#6
KC Ep#7 KC Bonus#7
KC Ep#8 KC Bonus#8
THANK YOU FOR PLAYING
KING CON
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