Private1
Registered: Aug 2002
Posts: 40942 - Threads: 1198
Location: London
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Once upon a time in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat on the shores of a pond near her castle.
The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper young prince that I am, and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and feel forever grateful doing so.
That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on a repast of lightly sautéed frogs legs seasoned in a wine and onion cream sauce she chuckled to herself and thought: I don't fscking think so.
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My name is Mr ..Anonymous....here's my story...
I ended up with an older woman at a club last night.
She looked OK for a 61-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at
all, and I found myself thinking that she probably had a hot daughter.
We drank a bit, and had a bit of a snuggle, and then she asked if I'd
ever had a Sportsman's Double?
"What's that?" I asked
"It's a mother and daughter threesome," she said.
I said, "No" - excitedly.
We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was "my lucky night".
I went back to her place.
She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs:
"Mum, you still awake?"
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China has really impressed me during this olympics
They use the same person for every event
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In an interview about his failed marriage, Sir Paul McCartney is asked if he'd ever go down on one knee again. He replies, "I'd prefer it if you called her Heather."
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An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself, "Oh God, I'm screwed."
The sky darkens and a voice booms out, "No, you are NOT screwed. Pick up that stone at your feet and bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you."
So with the stone he bashes the life out of the chief. He stands above the lifeless body, breathing heavily and looking at 100 angry natives...
The voice booms out again, "Okay....NOW you're screwed."
Shrek: A story about an ogre finding his one true love and dragging her down to his level.
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25-02-2014 13:38 PM
