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ceekay venomous fairy
Registered: Feb 2010 Posts: 39935 - Threads: 1064 Location: In a wide open space
2016 | Winner Thread Honourable Mention Member
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Quote:
| Sam Spooley wrote on 03-03-2014 05:44 PM
Quote:
| 3radical wrote on 03-03-2014 05:22 PM
That's because you don't know how to talk to a sexy woman Sam. You get all nervous and s**t.
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Last Tuesday, your mum spread nutella on my ball sack and then wiped it on her face like warpaint before tonguing my a******e. By the time she had finished, I didn't know what was nutella and what was my s**t. She made some toast, then (using a butter-knife) scraped the brown mess from her face, added some lea & perrins and then ate the lot. This was the final straw for me. That dirty slut went a little bit too far for my liking so I regretfully called off our bi-weekly arrangement. I'm sure your dad will be pleased now though.
Anyway, the reason I'm telling you all this is because you're right. I do get nervous around women. Since your mum left me, I've desperately craved female company if I'm honest. I was wondering if you could perhaps teach me your suave, erudite, sophisticated ways so I could become a bachelor as eligible as yourself. Let me know mate.
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"Do you believe in the devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man?"
"I'm not sure that man needs the help." (Calvin & Hobbes)
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03-03-2014 17:52 PM |
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