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Guile
A magnificent animal of a man
Registered: Sep 2001
Posts: 2659 - Threads: 68
Location: A wretched hive of scum and villainy
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Criminal Anthropology Simulation Master Class
Difficulty level:2
You may struggle without the correct training and background in Criminal Anthropology. Play catch up:
Here with: "YOU ARE THE..."
&
Here with: "WHAT'S MY CRIME?"
The people named and their crimes as detailed in this thread are real. They have all been found guilty in court. On occasions jurors have deliberated over the evidence. In each case, a judge has decided their crimes are so serious that only a custodial sentence will suffice. The scenario covered in this thread may be offensive or disturbing to some readers. It is a work of fiction and for educational purposes only. No identification with places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred. No person or entity associated with this thread received payment or anything of value, or entered into any agreement, in connection with the depiction of tobacco products. No animals were harmed in the making of this thread.
Ready?
Well let's play:
KING CON
Have you got what it takes to rise like the scum you are to the top of the rancid pool that is H.M.P. Hafa Towers?
Each episode will give you choices to make, relying not only your Criminal Anthropology skill sets you will have to lie, bribe, cheat, intimidate, claw, gouge, shank and strangle your way to the top of the shit heap.
CAN YOU BECOME:
KING CON
BONUS MISSION
There are two priests on rotation at H.M.P. HaFa Towers. Father Hugh and Father Inzo.
ONE of them has to be a filthy nonce or he wouldn't be rotting here in this ecumenical exile shit hole. The only other reason a priest would work here is because he was full of godly love.
Study the priests below and pick which one you think is the out and out beast. You will then confront him in the confessional. Pick the right priest and you won't need places, dates or names, you can blag him as it's going to be all about little boy's arses - he is a priest after all.
The priest is confronted in the confessional
Aaaaaand then blackmail him into allowing you to install a still in the church and use the holy communion wine to make brandy. Oh and "wash" your coke into rocks and bash the smack.
Unlock the PRISON CHAPEL as an ASSET for your crew and gain the RESPECT that is your due.
A sophisticated still, you can also use it to wash your Barry and your Bobby in
Accuse the wrong priest and you'll be given a whole load of Hail Mary's to say in repentance for your wicked lies and any subsequent allegations you make will not be believed.
Ready?
Well, let's play:
KING CON
BONUS MISSION
Spot the hypocrite:
FATHER HUGH
FATHER INZO
Remember: it's just for fun. 
crib notes:
I will announce the results next time.
PROTIP: The devil whispered in my ear "You're not strong enough to withstand the storm." I whispered in the devil's ear "I am the fucking storm"
KING CON
Only available on Hafa
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 24-08-2018 12:37 PM |
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Guile
A magnificent animal of a man
Registered: Sep 2001
Posts: 2659 - Threads: 68
Location: A wretched hive of scum and villainy
|
Criminal Anthropology Simulation Master Class
Difficulty level:2
KING CON
The people named and their crimes as detailed in this thread are real. They have all been found guilty in court. On occasions jurors have deliberated over the evidence. In each case, a judge has decided their crimes are so serious that only a custodial sentence will suffice. The scenario covered in this thread may be offensive or disturbing to some readers. This scenario is for educational purposes only although it is a work of fiction the criminals and the crimes detailed within are genuine. No identification with places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred. No person or entity associated with this thread received payment or anything of value, or entered into any agreement, in connection with the depiction of tobacco products. No animals were harmed in the making of this thread.
You need somewhere to run your still and something other than potatoes or oranges to run through it. You also want somewhere safe to bash the heroin and cocaine you are getting. Under the altar in the Church will be the best place to hide the still. There's lots of good wine there too. Church services will be a great opportunity to bash the gear. It's time to get all holy.
Ready?
Well, let's play:
KING CON
BONUS MISSION
It's a miracle!
Which priest will turn the communion wine into brandy for you?
FATHER HUGH O'FLAHERTY
a.k.a.
"THE SCARLET PIMPERNEL OF THE VATICAN"
DURING THE SECOND WORLD WAR SAVED OVER 6,500 JEWS, POW's AND CIVILIANS IN OCCUPIED ITALY, WITHOUT WAITING FOR AUTHORITY FROM THE POPE GAVE THEM SANCTUARY IN THE VATICAN AND A NETWORK OF SAFE HOUSES HE ORGANISED.
WAS PERSONALLY HUNTED BY THE HEAD OF THE GESTAPO HERBERT KAPPLER WHO SWORE TO HAVE HIM ASSASSINATED. LUDWIG KOCH HEAD OF POLICE IN ROME OFTEN SPOKE OF THE TORTURES HE WOULD INFLICT ON FR. HUGH UPON HIS CAPTURE
PLAYED CAT AND MOUSE ALL THROUGH THE WAR WITH THESE MONSTERS, ACTIVELY OUT AND ABOUT IN VARIOUS DISGUISES SEEKING OUT THE OPPRESSED AND ENSURING SAFE PASSAGE TO MORE CIVILISED COUNTRIES
FATHER HUGH O'FLAHERTY
>>>NOT A HINT OF PEDO<<<
FATHER MAURO INZOLI
a.k.a.
"DON MERCEDES"
KNOWN FOR HIS LOVE OF FLASHY CARS, CIGARS AND HIGH LIVING
A FOUL EPHEBOPHILE
ALSO KNOWN FOR HIS FILTHY NONCE WAYS AS HE CONSTANTLY CRAVES SEX WITH LITTLE BOYS
CLAIMED HIS ABUSE WAS AN ANCIENT JEWISH CEREMONY FROM THE OLD TESTAMENT, DEMONSTRATING AFFECTION BETWEEN A FATHER AND SON WHICH HE CALLED
"BAPTISM OF THE TESTICLES"
FOULLY ABUSED CHILDREN EVEN WHILE THEY WERE SICK IN HOSPITAL
FATHER MAURO INZOLI
>>>DEPRAVED BEAST#666<<<
"BAPTISM OF THE TESTICLES"
Quote:
| Senior Prison Officer Fulton Mackay suspicious of the sudden upturn in Church activities, asks Father Inzo about you.
CREEPY Father Inzo replied:
May I refer you to Saint Paul’s Second Letter to the Thessalonians Mr. Mackay? “We are bound to thank God for them always, my beloved brothers in the Lord. He called them through my preaching of the Gospel so that they might achieve the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ"
Senior Prison Officer Fulton Mackay:
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Congratulations to pieman, Wykah, Voodoobass, Latex Zebra and Coops, who TO A MAN had no doubts about which priest was the beast.
THIS IS WHAT CRIMINAL ANTHROPOLOGY IS ALL ABOUT! WELL DONE GUYS - POSITIVE AND INDISPUTABLE PROOF THAT CRIMINAL ANTHROPOLOGY IS SCIENTIFIC FACT!
ASSET UNLOCKED - CHAPEL c/w BOOZE MAKING STILL AND DRUG BASH HOUSE ACQUIRED
RESPECT!
KING CON
Please click HERE to see how their choices have influenced the respect our would be KING CON's now enjoy, find out who is the current TOP DOG and who is the cock-a-poo yapping at their heels. Please join us again SOON for the next episode of:
KING CON
Only available on HarderFaster
CUTTING ROOM FLOOR
As pieman correctly pointed out, most Catholic priests have a high rate of noncery. It was difficult to find one that was "clean" and 100% above reproach for this simulation. The research required for this thread would sicken anyone. The horrors the Catholic Church have inflicted on the world continues seemingly unchecked.
A typical example:
Quote:
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Father Jose Garcia Ataulfo knew he was HIV positive when he raped 29 young girls aged between 5 and 10 years old. He was absolved of any wrong doing by the Archdiocese of Mexico and won't be facing criminal charges. The Pope has declared the matter "closed".
Pope Francis has also announced that his church would be reducing penalties for pedophile priests by relocating them to a different church and offering them support rather than punishing them. The move is designed to "create a more merciful church".
FACE OF A MONSTER
PICTURE HAS NOT BEEN PHOTO SHOPPED
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| 05-09-2018 23:32 PM |
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