A magnificent animal of a man
Registered: Sep 2001
Posts: 2601 - Threads: 64
Location: A wretched hive of scum and villainy
Criminal Anthropology Simulation Master Class
Contains offensive and despicable content that is too controversial and too FUCKING AWESOME for children. The stark, ugly, profound truths KING CON and associated spin offs exposes may be soul crushing to the weak of spirit. If you allow a child to read this thread you are a bad parent or guardian. Contains strong action violence and sexualised posing.
Have you got what it takes to rise like the scum you are to the top of the rancid pool that is H.M.P. Hafa Towers?
Each episode will give you choices to make, relying not only your Criminal Anthropology skill sets you will have to lie, bribe, cheat, intimidate, claw, gouge, shank and strangle your way to the top of the shit heap.
WHO WILL BE
THE FINAL MISSION
NOBODY CAN GIVE YOU FREEDOM
IF YOU ARE A MAN
YOU JUST TAKE IT
Prison was a laugh for a while, you actually enjoyed yourself.
But it's over now.
Time to go.
Nobody has ever escaped from H.M.P. HaFa Towers before.
But then you have never been incarcerated here before.
The most successful escapee will rack up multiple RESPECT points.
DON'T GET CAUGHT!
Well, let's play:
Which escape plan did our TOP DOGS go with:
Former British spy George Blake was sentenced to 42 years after being exposed as a Soviet double agent. He escaped from H.M.P. HaFa Towers 3 years later, using a rope ladder with rungs made out of knitting needles.
He was smuggled to the East German border by two anti-nuclear campaigners hidden in a secret compartment built into a camper van.
HE WAS NEVER RECAPTURED
A drug trafficker wore his wife’s clothes to escape from H.M.P. HaFa Towers – but was caught after a policeman noticed he was “walking funny”.
Ronaldo Silva, 39 shaved his arms and legs then strode out of the front gate in a blue dress, wig, high heels and a dash of bright red lipstick. He was picked up just 30 minutes later at a bus station after an officer on patrol noticed he was unsteady on his feet. Silva’s wife brought the clothes in during her weekly visit and went home in her husband’s Bermuda shorts.
RECAPTURED AFTER 30 MINUTES
Convicted murderer John Massey, escaped from H.M.P. HaFa Towers by climbing the wall using a makeshift rope. Massey, 64, hid in the prison gym and went onto the roof before scaling the wall using discarded netting, which may have been used for a sports activity, to fashion the makeshift rope.
He saw an off duty officer right outside the prison, who said to him "John whit urr ye daein'?" and was told "I'm having it away on my toes!" John Massey then gave the officer the slip.
John Massey - one of the UK's longest-serving prisoners - was convicted of shooting a man dead with a sawn-off shotgun at The Cricketers in Clapton, Hackney.
RECAPTURED AFTER 3 DAYS
James Gelling, who fancied himself something of a Spider-man, leapt over an 12ft high dock, assaulted a police officer then fled from the court. The 27-year-old made a daring escape from the court buildings and out to freedom. This was not the first time he had done a runner after previously bursting from the dock of Southport Magistrates Court and escaping to claim his liberty.
RECAPTURED AFTER 4 WEEKS
James Whitlock, 31, went on the run after escaping from H.M.P. HaFa Towers. His bed was found stuffed with pillows and a papier mache head he had made in his Art classes made it look like a sleeping body. He then used diamond-tipped cutting equipment to cut through his cell bars, before scaling the outside wall using bedsheets tied to a C.C.T.V. pole.
RECAPTURED AFTER 1 WEEK
Daniel Vail had dug 2ft by 3ft hole in the cell wall behind his bunk bed with a metal chair leg tool and had made a 32ft rope out of knotted sheets when he made a bid for freedom. Senior Prison Officer Fulton Mackay became suspicious after hearing rubble falling from the building.
He discovered that Vail was wearing two layers of clothing, had hidden some rubble in cupboards in his cell and put sheets on his bed to make it appear he was in it. He had not managed to breach the second, outer wall of the prison during his escape bid and had eight months added to his sentence.
FAILED TO LEAVE THE PRISON GROUNDS
Inmate Darren Humphreys escaped from his first floor cell using his bare hands and a dustpan brush. Daz, 40, took just two hours to remove five layers of bricks and break through his cell wall. The prisoner, who was awaiting sentence, was lowering himself out of the window when he lost his grip and fell 30ft, breaking his ankle.
Jailing Humphreys for two years, Judge Francis Gilbert QC told him that to attempt to jump three storeys was "a bit optimistic, thinking you could get to the ground without injury".
FAILED TO LEAVE THE PRISON GROUNDS
Remember: The criminals and the crimes detailed here are very real but this?
It's just for fun
WHO WILL BE THE
Please click HERE to see how their choices have influenced the respect our would be KING CON's now enjoy, find out who is THE KING CON and who is the OLD LAG.
The GREAT REVEAL IS ONLY ON HaFa
A HaFa original
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