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HarderFaster Forums >> General Mayhem >> KING CON - Bonus Mission: A whistle for the dog

 
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Guile
A magnificent animal of a man

Registered: Sep 2001
Posts: 2599 - Threads: 64
Location: A wretched hive of scum and villainy

Criminal Anthropology Simulation Master Class
Difficulty level:Easy blud, easy


You may struggle without the correct training and background in Criminal Anthropology. Play catch up:

Here with: "YOU ARE THE..."
&
Here with: "WHAT'S MY CRIME?"

Contains offensive and despicable content that is too controversial and too FUCKING AWESOME for children. The stark, ugly, profound truths KING CON and associated spin offs exposes may be soul crushing to the weak of spirit. If you allow a child to read this thread you are a bad parent or guardian. Contains strong action violence and sexualised posing.

Ready?
Well let's play:


KING CON


Have you got what it takes to rise like the scum you are to the top of the rancid pool that is H.M.P. Hafa Towers?


Each episode will give you choices to make, relying not only your Criminal Anthropology skill sets you will have to lie, bribe, cheat, intimidate, claw, gouge, shag and strangle your way to the top of the shit heap.


CAN YOU BECOME:


KING CON


BONUS MISSION

Quote:
Tink said

Excuse me sir, I wonder if I could have a word you? I'm new here doing a double carpet for green and I'm having all my food, paper, toiletries and earnings taken from me from two Phil Mitchell wannabees. I know that's my problem but I can help you if you could help me?

"No offence son but what the fuck can you do for me?"

I can make you look like the dogs bollocks sir. I can sort out your slops so you look really dapper. I can take those trousers in, cut them around the leg, put buttons in the fly instead of these shitty zips, give them forward pleats for your comfort when sitting.

[nervous swallow]

I would run you up some shirts made with giza cotton with a broad weave, my shirts would actually fit you. They'd have tasty portofino cuffs like you'd get in Jermyn Street or I can do French ones should you prefer; I'd make them with high armholes so the cuffs sit properly when you move your arms, they'd have concealed plackets to the front, removable collars or perhaps cutaways if you require; of course your shirts would all have pleats at the back for extra fullness.

[blinks three times]

I've got some lovely material I could make you a jacket from, much softer than official issue, I'd make that with on-trend 75° notched lapels, strongly tapered sides and minimal shoulder; jetted pockets, tasteful buttons, the sleeves would have surgeon's cuffs with the last two buttons stitched off-centre, so that the sleeve hangs more cleanly should you wish the buttons to be undone for some reason, I could even sort you out with some hidden pockets, my jackets would hang really well off your shoulders.

[smiles]

Of course all the buttonholes in your new wardrobe would be finished with a contrasting thread, it'd be good enough to wear on the out!

[serious face]

I've got some watered silk and I could run you up some socks, pockets squares with rolled hems and perhaps some pyjamas, everything would be monogrammed; honest to god I can make you look like what you are, the TOP DOG of this place.

[sincere]

All I want to do is easy time sir, I'm going straight when I get out. I've learnt my lesson. Your confidence and support would help me so much.

[sincere]

I've taken up enough of your time sir, I'll leave it with you. Thank you so much for listening, I appreciate you have many more pressing responsibilities.

[humble]





If you want to help young Tink go straight, make sure you are at the commissary and have a quiet word with the two unaffiliated mugs that are troubling him, thereby letting the whole prison know Tink is your dog and not to be touched unless you say so.

Show everyone you've got a sensitive, caring, nurturing side, and look like the dogs bollocks

RESPECT

Or you could just throw the little cock under the bus, and keep dressing like a pigs ear

Please post a suitable smiley in this thread ONCE any day this week BEFORE Friday to perform this altruistic act and receive a WARDROBE UPGRADE and the obvious increase in RESPECT that will bring.

KING CON is only available on HaFa


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Old Post23-09-2018 18:36 PM
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Latex Zebra
Yeah, something is probably happening somewhere.

Registered: Feb 2003
Posts: 15055 - Threads: 338
Location: London



Poll Winner!
2016
óò
Winner
KING CON
Joint Winner
Day Party - Alumni
Honourable Mention
Tune - Mind Shift - Luke Warner and Latex Zebra
Winner
DJ
Winner
Resident DJ
Winner
Party Animal
Winner
Club Night - Zoology 15

Waves

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Old Post24-09-2018 11:17 AM
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wykah
What would Macgyver do?

Registered: Jul 2005
Posts: 8028 - Threads: 436
Location: Hackbridge, Surrey

Es Loco

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Old Post24-09-2018 20:46 PM
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Coops

Registered: Jul 2003
Posts: 18540 - Threads: 513
Location:

Moons

I've got chickens in my back yard

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Old Post24-09-2018 22:07 PM
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Guile
A magnificent animal of a man

Registered: Sep 2001
Posts: 2599 - Threads: 64
Location: A wretched hive of scum and villainy

Quote:
Latex Zebra wrote on 24-09-2018 12:17 PM

Waves



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Old Post25-09-2018 09:51 AM
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Guile
A magnificent animal of a man

Registered: Sep 2001
Posts: 2599 - Threads: 64
Location: A wretched hive of scum and villainy

Quote:
wykah wrote on 24-09-2018 09:46 PM

Es Loco



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Old Post25-09-2018 09:52 AM
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Guile
A magnificent animal of a man

Registered: Sep 2001
Posts: 2599 - Threads: 64
Location: A wretched hive of scum and villainy

Quote:
Coops wrote on 24-09-2018 11:07 PM

Moons



Click here to view original image


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Old Post25-09-2018 09:52 AM
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Latex Zebra
Yeah, something is probably happening somewhere.

Registered: Feb 2003
Posts: 15055 - Threads: 338
Location: London



Poll Winner!
2016
óò
Winner
KING CON
Joint Winner
Day Party - Alumni
Honourable Mention
Tune - Mind Shift - Luke Warner and Latex Zebra
Winner
DJ
Winner
Resident DJ
Winner
Party Animal
Winner
Club Night - Zoology 15

Fight! Fight! Fight!

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Old Post25-09-2018 12:44 PM
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wykah
What would Macgyver do?

Registered: Jul 2005
Posts: 8028 - Threads: 436
Location: Hackbridge, Surrey

Why do I feel we've been stitched up?

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Old Post25-09-2018 22:58 PM
wykah is offline   Click Here to See the Profile for wykah   Click Here to send a Private Message to  wykah   Click Here to Email wykah   Visit the homepage of wykah       Link to this Post   Quote this message in a PM   Reply Quoting Entire Message   Reply Quoting Last Post   
Latex Zebra
Yeah, something is probably happening somewhere.

Registered: Feb 2003
Posts: 15055 - Threads: 338
Location: London



Poll Winner!
2016
óò
Winner
KING CON
Joint Winner
Day Party - Alumni
Honourable Mention
Tune - Mind Shift - Luke Warner and Latex Zebra
Winner
DJ
Winner
Resident DJ
Winner
Party Animal
Winner
Club Night - Zoology 15

Takes a bath

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Old Post26-09-2018 08:07 AM
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