View Active ThreadsCreate an account on HarderFasterLogin to HarderFaster Information for Promoters Information for Advertisers Search HarderFaster About HarderFaster Link to this Page
[HarderFaster] - Work Hard, Play Harder!
Home | News | What's On | Annual Poll | Photos | Forums | DJs | Features | Music | Venues | Reviews | Links |

Register your name List of Members Frequently Asked Questions Terms of use Search HarderFaster
HarderFaster Forums >> General Mayhem >> KING CON - Episode 7: That dog is a mongrel

Not on my watch! Who should be thrown under the bus?
DAVID
MASOOD
TONY
BILLY
MARK
     View Results

 
Author
Pages (1):  [1]   Post New Thread    Post A Reply
Guile
A magnificent animal of a man

Registered: Sep 2001
Posts: 2601 - Threads: 64
Location: A wretched hive of scum and villainy

[Edited by Guile on 21-09-2018 06:52 AM]

[Edited by Guile on 22-09-2018 10:39 AM]

[Edited by Guile on 22-09-2018 10:45 AM]

Criminal Anthropology Simulation Master Class
Difficulty level:2


You may struggle without the correct training and background in Criminal Anthropology. Play catch up:

Here with: "YOU ARE THE..."
&
Here with: "WHAT'S MY CRIME?"

Contains offensive and despicable content that is too controversial and too FUCKING AWESOME for children. The stark, ugly, profound truths KING CON and associated spin offs exposes may be soul crushing to the weak of spirit. If you allow a child to read this thread you are a bad parent or guardian. Contains strong action violence and sexualised posing.

Ready?
Well let's play:


KING CON


Have you got what it takes to rise like the scum you are to the top of the rancid pool that is H.M.P. Hafa Towers?


Each episode will give you choices to make, relying not only your Criminal Anthropology skill sets you will have to lie, bribe, cheat, intimidate, claw, gouge, shank and shag your way to the top of the shit heap.


CAN YOU BECOME:

KING CON



In last weeks episode...

......You blagged your way onto the Vulnerable Prisoners Unit and shanked one of those pedo's right the fuck up. You then framed one of the prison's pain in the arses for the stabbing. You recruited some cronies to enforce your will and cover your back. You coerced a screw into bringing you gear into prison. You banged one of the Cat A mad bitches on the woman's wing. You organised a hostage situation to take the heat off your team to get mad quantities of gear in.

Go you, you mad bastard.

You're starting to look like a man who can do whatever he fucking likes.

Ex coppers doing time for a crime. The lowest of the low in any prison. Most of them stay on Vulnerable wing, but a cocky few choose to have a cover story constructed for them and try to do their time like everyone else. This of course cannot be allowed.

There has been an new intake of prisoners into H.M.P. HaFa Towers this week, and you have had a nod from your contacts on the outside that one of the new guys isn't all he's made out to be...

Far from it. He's fucking plod.

Using your Criminal Anthropology skills study the mugshots below. One of them is actually a fucking bent copper. Can you pick out the most likely suspect and blow his cover?

In prison it's a serious matter to accuse someone of being a copper when they're not. Terrible things happen to ex coppers in prison. Really bad. Even you need hard facts before you toss someone under that bus.

By pulling a few strings, the following morning you get a placement in the clerical team at the Prison Offices. Files on all the prisoners are kept there. All you need is a couple of minutes alone with the personnel files and you'll get all the dirt you need to reveal if there is indeed a pork in your pack.


Senior Prison Officer Fulton Mackay is very suspicious of your motives.


That's because you've never participated in any Rehabilitation Programs before but your dopey Probation Officer is delighted with the new leaf you appear to be turning and ensures all goes smoothly with you getting onto the "Back to Work" program.


SCORE! The Prison Governors secretary thinks you are an "Absolute Sweetheart"


A few days go by and you have had no time alone in the Admin Offices to check through the files, but at least you've had a great time chatting up Mrs. Jones - the Prison Governors secretary, and letting her know just how fucking hot she is.

It's now Tuesday afternoon and things are going well. You've told the silly cow you are a Tai Chi instructor and you're massaging her shoulders and neck to "remove the tensions and free her chi" while wondering when to take it to the next level...

Suddenly the Governor bleeps through on his intercom for Mrs. Jones to come through and take notes. "I'll be right back to finish our little chat in a minute" she giggles, then leaves you alone in the office for the first time since you started this investigation.

You are not used to the vast & rambling filing system at H.M.P. HaFa Towers.


You've got just enough time to search out and read one file before Mrs. Jones comes back in.


You quickly locate and read the jacket of your suspect.

Correctly pick out the ex-copper from the new intake and yes, you'll be the man, dog!

Nominate one of the following goons as pedo-pork, and post your accusation revealing the identity of the ex-copper beast, thereby BOOSTING your status as a man who fucking knows things and ensuring you gain further RESPECT

As is your due.

New interactive feature:
ASK THE AUDIENCE


Ready?

Well, let's play:

KING CON


Which one is the ex-copper...

DAVID



MASOOD



TONY



BILLY



MARK



Remember: It's just for fun Wink



KING CON


NEW TO KING CON

INTERACTIVE FEATURE: ASK THE AUDIENCE!


I will publish the results next week.

Pro-tip: CATCH ON FIRE AND PEOPLE WILL COME FROM MILES TO SEE YOU BURN


KING CON is only available on HaFa

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post21-09-2018 05:50 AM
Guile is offline   Click Here to See the Profile for Guile   Click Here to send a Private Message to  Guile   Click Here to Email Guile       Link to this Post   Quote this message in a PM   Reply Quoting Entire Message   Reply Quoting Last Post   
danj
there is no spoon

Registered: Mar 2005
Posts: 18367 - Threads: 785
Location: Omnipresent

Mark gets my vote, blatant mongrel.

(¬_/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")

HF2 - coming soon!

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post21-09-2018 08:49 AM
danj is offline   Click Here to See the Profile for danj   Click Here to send a Private Message to  danj       Link to this Post   Quote this message in a PM   Reply Quoting Entire Message   Reply Quoting Last Post   
kerb

Registered: Nov 2005
Posts: 24336 - Threads: 1616
Location:

mark looks like a sneaky russian that would sublease his mothers house at an extortionate rate

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post21-09-2018 11:08 AM
kerb is offline   Click Here to See the Profile for kerb   Click Here to send a Private Message to  kerb   Click Here to Email kerb       Link to this Post   Quote this message in a PM   Reply Quoting Entire Message   Reply Quoting Last Post   
wykah
What would Macgyver do?

Registered: Jul 2005
Posts: 8029 - Threads: 436
Location: Hackbridge, Surrey

It's good to be back. Slightly late to the party due to an extended stay in the box. I shouldn't be so lippy next time.

Anyway...

David is more likely former military.
Masood a former farmer.
Billy has the ears that need to be under a police hat but there's no way he'd make it through Hendon Police college looking like that.
The only thing Mark has policed is his habit.

That leaves the old boy Tony who I think had a distinguished career in the police most of it behind the reception desk.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post21-09-2018 23:46 PM
wykah is offline   Click Here to See the Profile for wykah   Click Here to send a Private Message to  wykah   Click Here to Email wykah   Visit the homepage of wykah       Link to this Post   Quote this message in a PM   Reply Quoting Entire Message   Reply Quoting Last Post   
Guile
A magnificent animal of a man

Registered: Sep 2001
Posts: 2601 - Threads: 64
Location: A wretched hive of scum and villainy

Senior Prison Officer Fulton Mackay:
"A'richt Wykah, come oot noo, fowk gaithers back oan th' wing. Juist dinnae let me catch ye wi' a phane again"

wykah:
"I won't"

Senior Prison Officer Fulton Mackay:
"Ye wilnae whit?"

wykah:
"I won't let you catch me Mr Mackay!"

Quote:
Later catching up with the guys wykah said:

It's good to be back. Slightly late to the party due to an extended stay in the box.

I shouldn't be so lippy next time.






Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post22-09-2018 15:20 PM
Guile is offline   Click Here to See the Profile for Guile   Click Here to send a Private Message to  Guile   Click Here to Email Guile       Link to this Post   Quote this message in a PM   Reply Quoting Entire Message   Reply Quoting Last Post   
Guile
A magnificent animal of a man

Registered: Sep 2001
Posts: 2601 - Threads: 64
Location: A wretched hive of scum and villainy

Quote:
Mrs. Jones the Governors Secretary
said:


Yes, I've pulled your file, and read it too. I know you've supposed to have done all those terrible things, but I can tell you're a nice man really.





Click here to view original image


Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post23-09-2018 17:32 PM
Guile is offline   Click Here to See the Profile for Guile   Click Here to send a Private Message to  Guile   Click Here to Email Guile       Link to this Post   Quote this message in a PM   Reply Quoting Entire Message   Reply Quoting Last Post   
Latex Zebra
Yeah, something is probably happening somewhere.

Registered: Feb 2003
Posts: 15055 - Threads: 338
Location: London



Poll Winner!
2016
óò
Winner
KING CON
Joint Winner
Day Party - Alumni
Honourable Mention
Tune - Mind Shift - Luke Warner and Latex Zebra
Winner
DJ
Winner
Resident DJ
Winner
Party Animal
Winner
Club Night - Zoology 15

David... If the Police employed any of them, other than perhaps Mark, then society is fucked and I'm glad I'm behind bars.

So David.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post24-09-2018 11:13 AM
Latex Zebra is offline   Click Here to See the Profile for Latex Zebra  Click Here to See the DJ Page Latex Zebra   Click Here to send a Private Message to  Latex Zebra   Visit the homepage of Latex Zebra       Link to this Post   Quote this message in a PM   Reply Quoting Entire Message   Reply Quoting Last Post   
pieman

Registered: Mar 2013
Posts: 2532 - Threads: 4
Location:

They all look terminally unemployable, God help us if we ever needed to ask any of these fucktrumpets the time.

That said, if push came to shove - as it always does in HaFa Towers - I'd nominate Mark as ex-filth.

Either Billy or Masood are nonces, or possibly both. Masood gets my vote though as Billy clearly can't even dress himself properly, so how he came to formulate the thought to commit a crime is beyond me. At worst he's some kind of low-level thug, maybe a wheelman or small-time puff dealer.

Tony looks liek he spends all day every day sitting alone at his PC frothing at the Daily Mail headlines and berating his wife for having Muslim friends.

David looks empty behind the eyes, would chiv you as soon as look at you for no reason whatsoever. A pity he wasn't in the line-up when we were choosing our crew, I'd have had him all day long.

So...Mark is ex-bacon, Masood is the dirty nonce.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post26-09-2018 11:15 AM
pieman is offline   Click Here to See the Profile for pieman   Click Here to send a Private Message to  pieman   Click Here to Email pieman       Link to this Post   Quote this message in a PM   Reply Quoting Entire Message   Reply Quoting Last Post   
Latex Zebra
Yeah, something is probably happening somewhere.

Registered: Feb 2003
Posts: 15055 - Threads: 338
Location: London



Poll Winner!
2016
óò
Winner
KING CON
Joint Winner
Day Party - Alumni
Honourable Mention
Tune - Mind Shift - Luke Warner and Latex Zebra
Winner
DJ
Winner
Resident DJ
Winner
Party Animal
Winner
Club Night - Zoology 15

Oh we need a nonce as well...

Masood or Tony really.


Going for Tony. Even if he's not a nonce. Fuck him.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post26-09-2018 13:11 PM
Latex Zebra is offline   Click Here to See the Profile for Latex Zebra  Click Here to See the DJ Page Latex Zebra   Click Here to send a Private Message to  Latex Zebra   Visit the homepage of Latex Zebra       Link to this Post   Quote this message in a PM   Reply Quoting Entire Message   Reply Quoting Last Post   
Guile
A magnificent animal of a man

Registered: Sep 2001
Posts: 2601 - Threads: 64
Location: A wretched hive of scum and villainy

[Edited by Guile on 27-09-2018 14:16 PM]


KING CON


Have you got what it takes to rise like the scum you are to the top of the rancid pool that is H.M.P. Hafa Towers?


Each episode will give you choices to make, relying not only your Criminal Anthropology skill sets you will have to lie, bribe, cheat, intimidate, claw, gouge, shank and strangle your way to the top of the shit heap.


CAN YOU BECOME:

KING CON



Pick out the ex-copper peado and any other dodgy arsehole from the new intake and yes, you'll be the man, dog!

See anyone you think is handy? Recruit them!

Ready?

Well, let's play:


KING CON




HOW DID OUR TOP DOGS FARE...

DAVID JENKINS
CONVICTED FOR DEALING IN STEROIDS
FUCKING LOADS OF THEM!
HEAD OF A GANG THAT IMPORTED £2MILLION OF RAW STEROIDS
BASHED THEM UP AND PUNTED THEM OUT
THE OPERATION GOT SO BIG A GRASS GETTING INVOLVED WAS INEVITABLE...



MASOOD MASOURI
CONVICTED RAPIST NONCE
THIS PIECE OF FILTH NEEDS TO SWITCHED OFF



ANTHONY HUGHES
CONVICTED EX COP PEDO NONCE
BULLSEYE!

DIES HARD WITH A VENGEANCE WITH ANY LUCK



WILLIAM FIGIEL
CONVICTED FOR DRIVING LIKE A PRICK
&
POSSESSION OF A STUN GUN
BRAIN DEAD DICKHEAD
GOT A COLLECTION OF BB GUNS AT HOME IN HIS MUMS



MARK LEWIS
CONVICTED FOR BEING STABBY
RAN AROUND TOWN WAVING A MACHETE
STABBED A FEW GUYS WHO OWED HIM MONEY
THEN GOT A TASTE FOR IT
HEY, COKE GETS YOU LIKE THAT SOMETIMES






Meanwhile at the office...
The Governor leaves work today at 12.00 hours


You and Mrs. Jones don't finish till 17.40 hours




Remember: The criminals and the crimes detailed here are very real but this?

It's just for fun Wink



KING CON



Please click HERE to see how their choices have influenced the respect our would be KING CON's now enjoy, find out who is the current TOP DOG and who is the CHIHUAHUA yapping at their heels.

Please join us for the FINAL EPISODE and find out who is:



KING CON


Only available on HarderFaster

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post27-09-2018 13:15 PM
Guile is offline   Click Here to See the Profile for Guile   Click Here to send a Private Message to  Guile   Click Here to Email Guile       Link to this Post   Quote this message in a PM   Reply Quoting Entire Message   Reply Quoting Last Post   
All times are GMT. The time now is 08:28:11         Pages (1):  [1]   Post New Thread    Post A Reply
Forum Jump:

Forum Rules:
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may post attachments
You may edit your posts
You may delete your posts
HTML code is OFF
BB Code is ON
Smilies are ON
 

HarderFaster Jump
Bookmark and Share
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective companies. All other content is (c) 2001-2018 HarderFaster.

Terms and Conditions | Privacy Statement | Text Mode