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HarderFaster Forums >> General Mayhem >> KING CON - Bonus Mission: The auld dog kens all the tricks

 
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Guile
A magnificent animal of a man

Registered: Sep 2001
Posts: 2599 - Threads: 64
Location: A wretched hive of scum and villainy

Criminal Anthropology Simulation Master Class
Difficulty level:6


You may struggle without the correct training and background in Criminal Anthropology. Play catch up:

Here with: "YOU ARE THE..."
&
Here with: "WHAT'S MY CRIME?"

Contains offensive and despicable content that is too controversial and too awesome for children. The stark, ugly, profound truths KING CON exposes may be soul crushing to the weak of spirit. If you allow a child to read this thread you are a bad parent or guardian. Contains strong action violence and sexualised posing.

Ready?
Well let's play:


KING CON


Have you got what it takes to rise like the scum you are to the top of the rancid pool that is H.M.P. Hafa Towers?


Each episode will give you choices to make, relying not only your Criminal Anthropology skill sets you will have to lie, bribe, cheat, intimidate, claw, gouge, shag and sweet talk your way to the top of the shit heap.


CAN YOU BECOME:

KING CON


BONUS MISSION

Past breakfast and the doors haven't been opened. The wing is on lock-down. Every cell is going to be tossed (searched) by D.S.T. (Dedicated Search Team)

The wing Custodial Manager, Senior Prison Officer Fulton Mackay is leading the search. He knows you are a recidivist and a trouble maker and can't wait to catch you out and remove your privileges. A former Drill Sergeant in the Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders 1st Battalion he despises men like you.


"Oh your cell is going to get tossed all over the shop laddie. Ah'm doing it meself."


It's a real one-off, it never happens usually cos you're too smart but today you're actually holding some weight and the lock down this morning wasn't expected tbf.

Caught with your fucking knickers down.

You've got 4 ounces of BenzoFury. That's 6-APB if you go by the fucking spaghetti alphabet soup names that drugs have nowadays.


The youth fucking love this shit


You can hear the rub down going off two cells away, you've still got a bit of time...


"A'm aff tae search prisoner 13's cell efter this one"


Where are you going to stash the gear? Pick one of the following locations and hope Senior Prison Officer Fulton Mackay doesn't think to search it. You can use up to 4 different hiding places if you think that will work better for you. [Sometimes if the screws find a package they think they've got the lot and stop looking. Sometimes they don't.]

IT'S A FREE CHOICE!


"Ah ken youse git gear in 'ere somewhere laddie"


Post your stash place[s] of choice before the thread closes and see if you get to keep the BenzoFury and earn the RESPECT of the jail.

Will you hide the BenzoFury by:

01. Using a small magnet to hold the bag to the underside of your steel bedside table.
02. Placing the bag into the secret pocket you've sewn into the right leg of your trousers.
03. Concealing the bag in the light fittings.
04. Wrapping the bag in a black t-shirt and hiding it under the cabinet. [This may work because screws will be looking under the cabinet with a mirror on a stick. They will be expecting to see blackness and that's what you're giving them.]

"Tell me whaur th' gear is and it'll gang easier fur youse"

05. There is a missing block in the wall of your windowsill. The aperture has been covered with cardboard painted to match the rest of the wall.
06. Putting it inside the fire alarm.
07. Putting it inside the steel bed frame.
08. Up the aris it goes, or maybe clenched between your buttocks. Swallowed perhaps, to be retrieved some 24 hours later... Always assuming of course nothing untoward happens to you.

"Now boys. Nevir, and Ah repeat nevir gie this man the benefit o' th' doubt"

09. Putting it in a plastic bag tied to a piece of string, the bag floated around the U bend and the string tied to a biro cut to the width of the pipe to act as a wedge.
10. Putting it in the lining of your baccy tins. (Slang for prison issue plastic shoes)

"Aha! Got youse! Check ower thare again. He keeps looking ower thare"

11. Putting it in your mattress/pillow.
12. Concealing it in your toiletries, perhaps your antiperspirant can, or your anti-dandruff shampoo bottle?

"Ah ken thir's gear in 'ere. Ah'll get a sniffer hoond"

13. Using a Hollowed out book. That Bible finally came in useful and not just as an emergency skin supply!
14. Perhaps you wish to propose an alternative to the above. If it's really ingenious and you don't want the others to know - pm me.

If you magically still have drugs after everyone else has lost theirs, well yes, you're the man now, dog.




Take on Senior Prison Officer Fulton Mackay and WIN! and the RESPECT points you gain will be STELLAR

Crib Notes:
Not much in the library, maybe this?


Oh, fuck it all and just relax for a change with:

and


Results will be published next week.

Only available on HaFa

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Old Post16-09-2018 21:09 PM
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Latex Zebra
Yeah, something is probably happening somewhere.

Registered: Feb 2003
Posts: 15055 - Threads: 338
Location: London



Poll Winner!
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Winner
KING CON
Joint Winner
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Honourable Mention
Tune - Mind Shift - Luke Warner and Latex Zebra
Winner
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Club Night - Zoology 15

I need more info about my cell.

Do I have a cell mate?


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Old Post17-09-2018 07:12 AM
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Guile
A magnificent animal of a man

Registered: Sep 2001
Posts: 2599 - Threads: 64
Location: A wretched hive of scum and villainy

Quote:
Latex Zebra wrote on 17-09-2018 08:12 AM

I need more info about my cell.

Do I have a cell mate?



No, you're a man of influence.

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Old Post17-09-2018 07:50 AM
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Latex Zebra
Yeah, something is probably happening somewhere.

Registered: Feb 2003
Posts: 15055 - Threads: 338
Location: London



Poll Winner!
2016
óò
Winner
KING CON
Joint Winner
Day Party - Alumni
Honourable Mention
Tune - Mind Shift - Luke Warner and Latex Zebra
Winner
DJ
Winner
Resident DJ
Winner
Party Animal
Winner
Club Night - Zoology 15

Quote:
Guile wrote on 17-09-2018 08:50 AM

No, you're a man of influence.



Splendid. As a man of influence I'm not dumb enough to keep my own shit in my own cell. Seriously, what do you take me for, an amateur.

But as I like to play the game. We'll go along with this madness.

Think I'll stick it in the Fire Alarm.



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Old Post17-09-2018 08:11 AM
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Guile
A magnificent animal of a man

Registered: Sep 2001
Posts: 2599 - Threads: 64
Location: A wretched hive of scum and villainy

Quote:
Latex Zebra wrote on 17-09-2018 09:11 AM

Splendid. As a man of influence I'm not dumb enough to keep my own shit in my own cell. Seriously, what do you take me for, an amateur.

But as I like to play the game. We'll go along with this madness.

Think I'll stick it in the Fire Alarm.



I can understand your consternation, but on this occasion you have been caught with your knickers down

Click here to view original image


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Old Post17-09-2018 08:27 AM
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Latex Zebra
Yeah, something is probably happening somewhere.

Registered: Feb 2003
Posts: 15055 - Threads: 338
Location: London



Poll Winner!
2016
óò
Winner
KING CON
Joint Winner
Day Party - Alumni
Honourable Mention
Tune - Mind Shift - Luke Warner and Latex Zebra
Winner
DJ
Winner
Resident DJ
Winner
Party Animal
Winner
Club Night - Zoology 15

Quote:
Guile wrote on 17-09-2018 09:27 AM

I can understand your consternation, but on this occasion you have been caught with your knickers down
Click here to view original image




You'll never take me alive Screw!

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Old Post17-09-2018 08:37 AM
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pieman

Registered: Mar 2013
Posts: 2532 - Threads: 4
Location:

Is the old cunt bringing any dogs with him?

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Old Post17-09-2018 12:55 PM
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Guile
A magnificent animal of a man

Registered: Sep 2001
Posts: 2599 - Threads: 64
Location: A wretched hive of scum and villainy

Quote:
pieman wrote on 17-09-2018 01:55 PM

Is the old cunt bringing any dogs with him?



No, it's a bluff, anyway you've long since befriended all the sniffer dogs - they prefer you to the handlers and would never grass you up.

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Old Post17-09-2018 14:11 PM
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wykah
What would Macgyver do?

Registered: Jul 2005
Posts: 8028 - Threads: 436
Location: Hackbridge, Surrey

Aww, this round would have tested my Macgyver skills but I get to listen from my private suite in solitary.

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Old Post17-09-2018 22:54 PM
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Coops

Registered: Jul 2003
Posts: 18540 - Threads: 513
Location:

[Edited by Coops on 18-09-2018 08:46 AM]

Ok I'll stick my neck out.
I think that a lot on the list seem good hiding places on the surface, but an old hand like Mackay will know all about looking in the fire alarm, in the bed frame etc.

So I am assuming, as top dog, that the chiselled out brick in the window seal has a very convincing looking cover. That the cardboard is actually a realistic faux brick made by an expert forger on D wing and not just a bodge up job made by Lukewarm during a 10 minute rest break.

So it's behind the false brick my stash goes while I sit innocently on my bed drinking a cup of tea and studying today's global news in the Daily Star.

I've got chickens in my back yard

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Old Post18-09-2018 07:41 AM
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