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HarderFaster Forums >> General Mayhem >> KING CON - Episode Four: Lie down with dogs, you get fleas Author Pages (1):  [1]      Guile A magnificent animal of a man Registered: Sep 2001 Posts: 2659 - Threads: 68 Location: A wretched hive of scum and villainy Criminal Anthropology Simulation Master Class Difficulty level:3 You may struggle without the correct training and background in Criminal Anthropology. Play catch up: Here with: "YOU ARE THE..." & Here with: "WHAT'S MY CRIME?" The people named and their crimes as detailed in this thread are real. They have all been found guilty in court. On occasions jurors have deliberated over the evidence. In each case, a judge has decided their crimes are so serious that only a custodial sentence will suffice. The scenario covered in this thread may be offensive or disturbing to some readers. It is a work of fiction and for educational purposes only. No identification with places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred. No person or entity associated with this thread received payment or anything of value, or entered into any agreement, in connection with the depiction of tobacco products. No animals were harmed in the making of this thread. Ready? Well let's play: KING CON Have you got what it takes to rise like the scum you are to the top of the rancid pool that is H.M.P. Hafa Towers? Each episode will give you choices to make, relying not only your Criminal Anthropology skill sets you will have to lie, bribe, cheat, intimidate, claw, gouge, shank and strangle your way to the top of the shit heap. CAN YOU BECOME: KING CON Previously in King Con... ...You blagged your way onto the Vulnerable Prisoners Unit and shanked one of those pedo's right the fuck up. You then framed one of the prison top dogs for the stabbing. You recruited some cronies to enforce your will and cover your back. You're starting to look like a man who can do whatever he fucking likes. You now need some serious contraband, so you can run all the scams. Drones, visitors, new arrivals - all excellent routes for contraband. You know from previous experience the best method of getting contraband into jail is using someone who can come and go every day from the prison, and go anywhere in the prison - no questions asked. A warder. A fucking bent screw. You want: chocolate, snout, drugs, booze, pornography, mobile phones. Aaaaand you wants fucking lots of it Using your Criminal Anthropology skills you soon realise which of the warders is either on the make or so daft you could twist them around your little finger. Study the mugshots of warders below and pick out ONE screw you want to corrupt and coerce to bring a shed load of GEAR into the prison. There is no right or wrong answer, you need to draw on the knowledge life has given you and all you have learned from the last two terms of your course in Criminal Anthropology. Each decision you make will earn you RESPECT points. These points added together will determine the winner of each episode. At the series end the highest scoring convict becomes... KING CON Get a bent screw on board supplying you with gear and yes, you'll be the man, dog! Make them an offer they can't refuse. Ready? Well, let's play: KING CON Are you going to go into business with: PRISON OFFICER KIAH PRISON OFFICER SAF PRISON OFFICER WALDO PRISON OFFICER LAINIE PRISON OFFICER DICK Remember: It's just for fun KING CON I will publish the results nest week. Pro-tip: A FISH WITH A CLOSED MOUTH NEVER GOT CAUGHT. Only on HaFa Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged 23-08-2018 20:13 PM wykah What would Macgyver do? Registered: Jul 2005 Posts: 8036 - Threads: 437 Location: Hackbridge, Surrey Kiah is too innocent for games, including this one but behind that smile there's probably some dental work going on. Her job has allowed her to pay for it and she's not going to jeopardise that. Saf would happily take your drugs instead of delivering them. That's an inconvenience we don't need. Waldo really wanted to be in the nonce round, he'd have stood a better chance being chosen there than here. Lainie has a look of someone who is beyond caring, and I'd be surprised if she isn't already on the make. and to avoid the obvious potential for innuendo I can't possibly be seen working Dick in prison. Lainie is my selection. Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged 25-08-2018 00:15 AM Coops Registered: Jul 2003 Posts: 18545 - Threads: 513 Location: [Edited by Coops on 25-08-2018 11:10 AM] KIAH looks like a dark horse to me. Not only will she do the job she will also get away with it. SAF would probably take more than she delivered WALDO would stitch you up at the first opportunity LAINIE will do your bidding at first but will make a mistake and sing like a canary rather than take the rap Dick looks like he probably is one, there is something shifty about him and he is not to be trusted. KIAH is he one for me. I've got chickens in my back yard Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged 25-08-2018 11:09 AM pieman Registered: Mar 2013 Posts: 2532 - Threads: 4 Location: Toughest call yet, I reckon. Kiah looks to be the only one with even a vague awareness of the real world so she's an obvious contender. Saf looks well acquainted with the phrase "two dark and one white please" and I'll go with the popular opinion of her being a greedy, useless skank. Waldo (what the fuck kind of name is that for a screw?) looks thick as dogshit and completely unaware of what day it is or even what town he's in. A big fat ugly liability. Lainie gives new meaning to the phrase 'sour faced'. Looks like she'd buckle and cry at the first sign of any agg. Not to be trusted. Poor Dick. Looks more suited to being a a stooge for Mr Tumble than a screw. Redefining 'hapless'. What a sorry lot. I'm going for Kiah as the best of a very bad bunch, as she looks relatively switched on, would easily be able to beguile Mackay, and has plenty of onboard room for smuggling stuff in. Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged 25-08-2018 21:29 PM voodoobass a table, mes enfants... Registered: Sep 2003 Posts: 33900 - Threads: 985 Location: somewhere else [Edited by voodoobass on 29-08-2018 19:22 PM] [Edited by voodoobass on 03-09-2018 18:36 PM] Immediate gut reaction: Kiah: looks too wholesome, possibly a front for shenanigans. However I think her 'thing' is more likely to be seducing the cons - nobody walks into a men's prison looking that pretty if they're not turned on by the attention. Also I don't think she's got the build to be able to fit chocolates and porn DVDs in her chuff. Waldo: Too obvious. He's clearly only a 'screw' because he's easily led, lacking in morals and if he wasn't a prison guard he'd probably be doing time inside for GBH anyway, so better to be getting paid to be in prison and still able to go home at night, right? However, he's not an ambitious man, and knows if he gets caught, he'll lose his cushy job and find it hard to get another. Dick: No balls. or at least, very tiny, shrivelled up ones. Lainie: Clearly likes violence. Definitely corrupt. And very possibly the one to involve in the scam. BUT she looks like she's got her own agenda and will turn on you in an instant. ...meaning Saf: The dopey eyes! The poorly-hidden CRIMINAL EARS! The nose, slightly enlarged from hoofing countless 'poodle leg' lines of internet research chemicals and talc! Here we have someone who is crooked but compliant. Sensitive about her looks as evidenced by the overplucked brows. Looks like she'd do the necessary in exchange for a few grams of relatively uncut Heroin, and the fact that she would makes her malleable like FIMO modelling clay. SAF is my choice for bendy screw! LET THE SMUGGLING COMMENCE soundcloud.com/voodoobass mixcloud.com/voodoobass Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged 29-08-2018 19:20 PM Latex Zebra Yeah, something is probably happening somewhere. Registered: Feb 2003 Posts: 15057 - Threads: 341 Location: London 2016 óò Winner KING CON Joint Winner Day Party - Alumni Honourable Mention Tune - Mind Shift - Luke Warner and Latex Zebra Winner DJ Winner Resident DJ Winner Party Animal Winner Club Night - Zoology 15 Kiah - Looks like the kind of Screw you could get a blowie off and it would be a nice change from having Big Vern clamped around your old fella. Could be a possibility. Saf - Looks so thick she makes wall paper paste look runny. But that doesn't always equate to a bendy Screw. Waldo - I'm sure he's dodgy in his own way but I don't think he's willing to put his career on the line, and being a Screw is a life choice for this marshmallow headed fuck bungle, to sneak you in some porn or baccy. He'll probably turn a blind eye to you shanking a nonce though. Lannie - Nah, she screams right on screw. She'll have you tied up in your cell and beaten up by the trustees faster than you can say "Oi, would you sneak some Spice in up your Hoo Ha for me love?" Dick - Fuck me. He's a mental looking fucker. I don't think I'd approach him if I'd just been shanked let alone to ask for something dodgy. Well, this could be the toughest one yet and there is a very good chance I'm going to do some time in solitary for this... Kiah - Do it for me baby! Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged 30-08-2018 17:57 PM Guile A magnificent animal of a man Registered: Sep 2001 Posts: 2659 - Threads: 68 Location: A wretched hive of scum and villainy Criminal Anthropology Simulation Master Class Difficulty level:3 The people named and their crimes as detailed in this thread are real. They have all been found guilty in court. On occasions jurors have deliberated over the evidence. In each case, a judge has decided their crimes are so serious that only a custodial sentence will suffice. The scenario covered in this thread may be offensive or disturbing to some readers. It is a work of fiction and for educational purposes only. No identification with places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred. No person or entity associated with this thread received payment or anything of value, or entered into any agreement, in connection with the depiction of tobacco products. No animals were harmed in the making of this thread. KING CON Thanks to your Criminal Anthropology knowledge you knew which of the screws could be coerced to break the law, each for different reasons and to varying degrees. You decided to pick one out to corrupt and coerce to bring in your contraband. If you can get a bent screw on board supplying you with gear, you'll be the man, dog! Ready? Well, let's play: KING CON Our contestants are to be congratulated on the insightful summary of their observations, many excellent points were made, the simulation is bringing out the best in them; but how successfully did they interpret the data they uncovered? Let's see exactly how our TOP DOGS did: COOPS, PIEMAN AND LATEX ZEBRA CHOSE TO DO BUSINESS WITH: PRISON OFFICER KIAH ANDRUSJAK SHE IS IN LOVE WITH YOU, WOULD "DO ANYTHING FOR YOU DARLING" POOR MAD DELUDED COW YOU TOLD SOME CONS TO STOP TEASING HER ABOUT HER HUGE JUGS ONCE, AND SHE FELL FOR YOU THERE AND THEN YOU'D FEEL SORRY FOR THE STUPID BITCH IF SHE WASN'T MAKING YOU SO MUCH MOOLAH SHE BRINGS YOU: MOBILE PHONES SIM CARDS CHARGERS RACY PICTURES OF HERSELF [THAT YOU SELL TO ALL AND SUNDRY] TERRYS' CHOCOLATE ORANGES [ YOU MENTIONED ONCE THAT YOU LOVED THEM] BURN RESPECT! VOODOOBASS CHOSE TO DO BUSINESS WITH: PRISON OFFICER SAFAK BOZKURT SHE HAS THE HOTS FOR VOODOOBASS, BUT SHE ALSO HAS A BIG THING FOR MONEY CONSTANTLY STRIP SEARCHING VOODOOBASS AND INSISTING ON GIVING HIM FULL INTERNALS EVERYTIME SHE HANDS OVER CONTRABAND AS "IT'S A GOOD COVER, AND IT'S GOOD FUN BABY" [FOR HER] SHE BRINGS VOODOOBASS: MOBILE PHONES CHARGERS SIM CARDS AMAZINGLY STINKY AND SERIOUSLY POWERFUL CHEESE WEED RESPECT! PRISON OFFICER JOHN WALLACE a.k.a. WALDO REJECTED JUST DOING IT FOR CASH, LOTS OF CASH FAT GREEDY DICKHEAD HE OFFERED YOU: MOBILE PHONES EXCELLENT AFGHANI RESIN WYKAH CHOSE TO DO BUSINESS WITH: PRISON OFFICER LAINIE MARTIN SHE IS TOTALLY INSANE BELIEVES SHE IS A DEAD SPIT FOR KAT SLATER WAS ABUSED LIKE KAT AND OF COURSE WAS RAPED LIKE KAT, WAS A SLAG LIKE KAT AND HAS MANY OTHER ISSUES THAT KAT HAS ALSO LIKE KAT SHE LIKES ROUGH DIAMOND GEEZERS LIKE FUCKING DEREK OR ALFIE TO THAT END SHE MADE WYKAH STYLE HIS HAIR LIKE ALFIE MOON AND WEAR FUCKING RIDICULOUS LOUD SHIRTS BEHIND HIS BACK EVERYONE PISSED THEMSELVES LAUGHING AT WYKAH SHE BRINGS WYKAH: MOBILE PHONES SIM CARDS CHARGERS SNOUT ALL DOWN THE FRONT OF HER LEOPARD SKIN GYM PANTS RESPECT! PRISON OFFICER DICK STACK REJECTED WHAT WAS THIS JOKER EVEN DOING AS A PRISON WARDER? HE OFFERED YOU: MOBILE PHONES SIM CARDS CHARGERS AMERICAN DISPENSARY QUALITY WEED - ALL SORTS OF BRANDS SPICE MAMBA STEROIDS PHONE MEMORY STICKS PORN ANYTHING YOU WANT LOL THIS MAN IS A WALKING CRIME WAVE FFS! BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY MISSED! Remember: The criminals and the crimes detailed here are very real but this? It's just for fun KING CON Please click HERE to see how their choices have influenced the respect our would be KING CON's now enjoy, find out who is the current TOP DOG and who is the BICHON FRISE yapping at their heels. Please join us again SOON for the next episode of: KING CON Only available on HarderFaster Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged 05-09-2018 23:33 PM All times are GMT. 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