View Active ThreadsCreate an account on HarderFasterLogin to HarderFaster Information for Promoters Information for Advertisers Search HarderFaster About HarderFaster Link to this Page
[HarderFaster] - Work Hard, Play Harder!
Home | News | What's On | Annual Poll | Photos | Forums | DJs | Features | Music | Venues | Reviews | Links |

Register your name List of Members Frequently Asked Questions Terms of use Search HarderFaster
HarderFaster Forums >> General Mayhem >> KING CON - You're the man now dog.

 
Author
Pages (5):  1  2  [3]  4  5   Post New Thread    Post A Reply
kerb

Registered: Nov 2005
Posts: 24320 - Threads: 1614
Location:

dude you should make a book, a novel, a blog, fucking anything.
your work rate is impeccable

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post21-09-2018 15:00 PM
kerb is offline   Click Here to See the Profile for kerb   Click Here to send a Private Message to  kerb   Click Here to Email kerb       Link to this Post   Quote this message in a PM   Reply Quoting Entire Message   Reply Quoting Last Post   
Guile
A magnificent animal of a man

Registered: Sep 2001
Posts: 2577 - Threads: 63
Location: a wretched hive of scum and villainy

Quote:
kerb wrote on 21-09-2018 03:00 PM

dude you should make a book, a novel, a blog, fucking anything.
your work rate is impeccable



Thanks kerb

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post23-09-2018 19:37 PM
Guile is online   Click Here to See the Profile for Guile   Click Here to send a Private Message to  Guile   Click Here to Email Guile       Link to this Post   Quote this message in a PM   Reply Quoting Entire Message   Reply Quoting Last Post   
Guile
A magnificent animal of a man

Registered: Sep 2001
Posts: 2577 - Threads: 63
Location: a wretched hive of scum and villainy

[Edited by Guile on 20-10-2018 09:40 AM]

[Edited by Guile on 20-10-2018 15:18 PM]

Criminal Anthropology Simulation Master Class


You may struggle without the correct training and background in Criminal Anthropology. Play catch up:

Here with: "YOU ARE THE..."
&
Here with: "WHAT'S MY CRIME?"

Contains really offensive and despicable content that is too controversial and too fucking awesome for children. The stark, ugly, profound truths KING CON exposes may be soul crushing to the weak of spirit. If you allow a child to read this thread you are a bad parent or guardian. Contains strong action violence and sexualised posing.

Ready?
Well let's play:


KING CON


Have you got what it takes to rise like the scum you are to the top of the rancid pool that is H.M.P. Hafa Towers?


A successful criminal needs good ideas.

For that he needs information, a little here, a little there - it all adds up. You help people out. They do you favours back. You require information.

This thread is the place to go to for rumours, information, finding out whose fast, whose on the up, whose a royal pain in the arse and just seeing who would fail a chin test.

It's also in this thread you can also find out how respected in H.M.P. Hafa Towers you are week by week as the simulation runs its course.

Upcoming Missions.

Main Mission #8


THE GRAND FINALE!

WHO WILL BE THE


KING CON

THE FINAL MISSION

NOBODY CAN GIVE YOU FREEDOM

IF YOU ARE A MAN

YOU JUST TAKE IT




Prison was a laugh for a while, you actually even enjoyed yourself.

But it's over now.

Time to go.

Nobody has ever escaped from H.M.P. HaFa Towers before.

But then you have never been incarcerated here before.


ONE MAN

FOUR WALLS

SEVEN PLANS

WHICH WILL YOU CHOOSE?


Now with added interactive features:
ASK THE AUDIENCE

Escape from Prison and glory in the RESPECT you deserve!



Show the world that the TOP DOG can ALWAYS do what he wants, when he wants, and how he wants




Bonus Mission #8

Click here to view original image


The results of the previous missions will be published here soon!

Come and get it!

PREVIOUSLY:
KC Ep#1 KC Bonus#1
KC Ep#2 KC Bonus#2
KC Ep#3 KC Bonus#3
KC Ep#4 KC Bonus#4
KC Ep#5 KC Bonus#5
KC Ep#6 KC Bonus#6
KC Ep#7 KC Bonus#7

FINAL WEEK!

WHO WILL BE THE


KING CON

The GREAT REVEAL IS ONLY ON HaFa

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post27-09-2018 09:50 AM
Guile is online   Click Here to See the Profile for Guile   Click Here to send a Private Message to  Guile   Click Here to Email Guile       Link to this Post   Quote this message in a PM   Reply Quoting Entire Message   Reply Quoting Last Post   
Guile
A magnificent animal of a man

Registered: Sep 2001
Posts: 2577 - Threads: 63
Location: a wretched hive of scum and villainy

[Edited by Guile on 27-09-2018 14:19 PM]


KING CON


RESULTS

Episode 7: That dog is a mongrel and Bonus Mission 7: A whistle for the dog
Click here for Mission 7 and Click here for Bonus Mission 7


This week's TOP DOG is:

pieman
current RESPECT points: 49
LOOKING LIKE THE DOGS BOLLOCKS = 3
BELOVED OF THE CHATTERING CLASSES = 2
BANGING THE GOVERNORS SECRETARY = 3
RECRUITED DAVID JENKINS = 3
RECRUITED MARK LEWIS = 3
OUTED MASOOD MASOURI AS A PAEDOPHILE = 4
NEW TOTAL = 67

>>>PIEMAN PROWLS THE JAIL LIKE A JUNGLE BEAST<<<

pieman got his first positive character reference ever in the national press, albeit page 7 of the lifestyle section, for encouraging a young criminal to go straight and become a bad boy high end tailor. pieman also has the kudos of being the first person to order a commission from him.

Tanguy Viaud is so in vogue right now and quite the darling of the socially concerned liberal metropolitan class.

So now they talk about pieman in Chelsea and Kensington, Islington and Hampstead. They call him a ROUGH DIAMOND, this PIEMAN. A geezer with a heart of gold, there's talk of getting him on Dragons Den, albeit in handcuffs.

Crime is on piemans hands, But he ALWAYS dresses well...


pieman had never worked in an office before, but he pulled some strings and he was made Assistant to the Governors Secretary before Senior Prison Officer Fulton Mackay could blink.

Mrs. Jones was drawn instantly to his animal magnetism and her icy professional reserve soon melted away.

Quote:
MRS. JONES PRISON GOVERNORS SECRETARY
SAID:


"I'll show you what to do, you just watch then get stuck in when you're good and ready"




Obvious how that one was going to end...



pieman also went through the records while in the office and pulled the jacket on DAVID JENKINS and saw the future. A future with JENKS working as major part of his team.

This man knew his androgel from his androderm and had huge experience in bashing drugs and dealing efficiently with cash. After a short chat with pieman, JENKS got a major craving for pie in the sky and now spends most of his time in the Chapel doing good works and looking after trembly old Father Inzo, who seems to walk into doors and fall down stairs rather a lot these days.

POOR OLD FATHER INZO

pieman initially thought MARK LEWIS-JONES was filth, but a quick glance at his file removed that doubt. MARK is a handy chap with a blade, a right stabby cunt, who sniggers as he shanks you. MARK hero-worships pieman and if pieman occassionally chucks him a gram of pub dust and a bottle of Chateau HaFa's finest, then pieman's wish is MARK's command.

Correctly identified MASOOD MASOURI as a paedophile. pieman will not have these wrong 'uns polluting his world. It's only a matter of time before MASOOD THE MONSTER gets turned off!

pieman is running roughshod all over the prison and still Senior Prison Officer Fulton Mackay can't pin even a minor violation on him.

For now.

pieman is currently unaware that there is a peadophile ex-copper "undercover" on his wing. The authorities have already threatened/coerced ANTHONY HUGHES and he is now supposed to pass on any information or rumour he may pick up about pieman immediately to Senior Prison Officer Fulton Mackay.

piemans reputation and the consequences of his actions have ensured his file is a permanent fixture on the desk of the HOME SECRETARY as part of the urgent investigation ordered into the running of H.M.P. HaFa Towers.

RESPECT!


Latex Zebra
current RESPECT points: 40
LOOKING LIKE THE DOGS BOLLOCKS = 3
BELOVED OF THE CHATTERING CLASSES = 2
BANGING THE GOVERNORS SECRETARY = 3
RECRUITED DAVID JENKINS = 3
OUTED MASOOD MASOURI AS A PAEDOPHILE = 4
FUCKING BULLSEYE! = 8
NEW TOTAL = 63

>>>HE IS A BRUTE WHO LIVES AND LOVES LIKE AN ANIMAL - A CARNIVOROUS BEAST<<<

RESPECT

Latex Zebra got a very positive character reference on page 7 of the lifestyle section in the national press, for encouraging a young criminal to go straight and become a bad boy high end tailor. LZ also has the kudos of being the first person to order a commission from him.

Tanguy Viaud is so in vogue right now and quite the darling of the socially concerned liberal metropolitan class.

So now they talk about Latex Zebra in Chelsea and Kensington, Islington and Hampstead. They call him a ROUGH DIAMOND, this LATEX ZEBRA. A geezer with a heart of gold, there's talk of getting him on Dragons Den, albeit in handcuffs.

Latex Zebra is many things, he is a winner... He is a loser... He is a hustler... But he ALWAYS dresses well...


Latex Zebra had never worked in an office before, but he pulled some strings and he was made Assistant to the Governors Secretary before Senior Prison Officer Fulton Mackay could blink.

Mrs. Jones was drawn instantly to his animal magnetism and her icy professional reserve soon melted away.

Quote:
MRS. JONES PRISON GOVERNORS SECRETARY
SAID:


"I'll show you what to do, you just watch then get stuck in when you're good and ready"




Obvious how that one was going to end...



Latex Zebra also went through the records while in the office and pulled the jacket on DAVID JENKINS and saw the future. A future with JENKS working as major part of his team.

This man knew his androgel from his androderm and had huge experience in bashing drugs and dealing efficiently with cash. After a short chat with LZ, JENKS got a major craving for pie in the sky and now spends most of his time in the Chapel doing good works and looking after trembly old Father Inzo, who seems to walk into doors and fall down stairs rather a lot these days.

POOR OLD FATHER INZO

Latex Zebra is running roughshod all over the prison and still Senior Prison Officer Fulton Mackay can't pin even a minor violation on him.

FUCKING BULLSEYE!

Correctly identified ANTHONY HUGHES as a paedophile, the fact that he is also an ex copper is just fucking gravy! Latex Zebra will not have these wrong 'uns polluting his world. It's only a matter of time before TONY THE BASTARD EX-COPPER PEDO-BEAST gets turned off!

Correctly identified MASOOD MASOURI as a paedophile. Latex Zebra will not have these wrong 'uns polluting his world. It's only a matter of time before MASOOD THE MONSTER gets turned off!

Latex Zebra is the WILD STALLION of the stable!

RESPECT!


wykah
current RESPECT points: 35
LOOKING LIKE THE DOGS BOLLOCKS = 3
BELOVED OF THE CHATTERING CLASSES = 2
BANGING THE GOVERNORS SECRETARY = 3
FUCKING BULLSEYE! = 8
NEW TOTAL = 51

>>>"Enough is enough. I will not, under any circumstances, for any reason whatsoever use the phone ... probably ... again"<<<

wykah is well known for being passionate about social causes, his most recent publicity stunt saw him leading a world wide campaign to save the Black Rhino from his prison cell. He recently got yet another positive character reference in the national press albeit this time only on page 7 of the lifestyle section, for encouraging a young criminal to go straight and become a bad boy high end tailor. Wykah also has the kudos of being the first person to order a commission from him.

Tanguy Viaud is so in vogue right now and quite the darling of the socially concerned liberal metropolitan class.

So now they talk about wykah in Chelsea and Kensington, Islington and Hampstead. They call him a ROUGH DIAMOND, this WYKAH. A geezer with a heart of gold, there's talk of getting him on Dragons Den, albeit in handcuffs.

Give him a vacuum cleaner, a ball of kite string, and a rummage in the products to be found under the kitchen sink and wykah will remove all traces of your DNA from any crimescene... And, he ALWAYS dresses well...

wykah had never worked in an office before, but he pulled some strings and he was made Assistant to the Governors Secretary before Senior Prison Officer Fulton Mackay could blink.

Mrs. Jones was drawn instantly to his animal magnetism and her icy professional reserve soon melted away.

Quote:
MRS. JONES PRISON GOVERNORS SECRETARY
SAID:


"I'll show you what to do, you just watch then get stuck in when you're good and ready"




Obvious how that one was going to end...



FUCKING BULLSEYE!

Correctly identified ANTHONY HUGHES as a paedophile, the fact that he is also an ex copper is just fucking gravy! wykah will not have these wrong 'uns polluting his world. It's only a matter of time before TONY THE BASTARD EX-COPPER PEDO-BEAST gets turned off!

wykah is back in action and ready for danger!

RESPECT!


Coops
current RESPECT points: 34
LOOKING LIKE THE DOGS BOLLOCKS = 3
BELOVED OF THE CHATTERING CLASSES = 2
NEW TOTAL = 39

>>>THIS AIN'T NO PARTY, THIS AIN'T NO DISCO, THIS AIN'T NO FOOLING AROUND<<<

Coops got a very positive character reference on page 7 of the lifestyle section in the national press, for encouraging a young criminal to go straight and become a bad boy high end tailor. Coops also has the kudos of being the first person to order a commission from him.

Tanguy Viaud is so in vogue right now and quite the darling of the socially concerned liberal metropolitan class.

So now they talk about Coops in Chelsea and Kensington, Islington and Hampstead. They call him a ROUGH DIAMOND, this Coops. A geezer with a heart of gold, there's talk of getting him on Dragons Den, albeit in handcuffs.

Coops has got three passports, a couple of visas, not many people even know his real name... But they do know - he ALWAYS dresses well...

Coops is currently unaware that there is a paedophile ex-copper "undercover" on his wing. The authorities have already threatened/coerced ANTHONY HUGHES and he is now supposed to pass on any information or rumour he may pick up about Coops immediately to Senior Prison Officer Fulton Mackay.

This could be his downfall!

His was a world of real gone guys and dolls on dope, the man they called - Coops

RESPECT!



Voodoobass
current RESPECT points: 35

>>>HIS CRAZY LIFE IS JUST FILLED WITH BLOODSHED, BEDROOMS AND BELLY LAUGHS!<<<

Voodoobass is currently unaware that there is a paedophile ex-copper "undercover" on his wing. The authorities have already threatened/coerced ANTHONY HUGHES and he is now supposed to pass on any information or rumour he may pick up about Voodoobass immediately to Senior Prison Officer Fulton Mackay.

But where is Voodoobass?

IN FACT HE IS CURRENTLY UNAWARE OF MUCH TO DO WITH REALITY

Yes indeed, he's had another one of his drug induced MELTDOWNS, seems Horny Goat Weed has some nasty interactions with his latest fave drug - GANESHA or 5-dimethoxy-3,4-dimethylamphetamine for the psychonauts.

He's spending some time in the clinic, where not even THORAZINE is chilling him the fuck out!


Time for your carfentanil injection Mr. Bass


RESPECT!



kerb
Current RESPECT points= 9
BANGING THE GOVERNORS SECRETARY = 3
RECRUITING MARK LEWIS = 3
TOTAL = 15

>>>A RECKLESS YOUTH CORRODED BY SIN<<<

Although kerb is a NEWFAG in H.M.P. HaFa Towers, he is rattling the bars of his cage.

kerb is currently unaware that there is a paedophile ex-copper "undercover" on his wing. The authorities have already threatened/coerced ANTHONY HUGHES and he is supposed to pass on any information or rumour he may pick up about kerb immediately to Senior Prison Officer Fulton Mackay.

kerb had never worked in an office before, but he pulled some strings and he was made Assistant to the Governors Secretary before Senior Prison Officer Fulton Mackay could blink.

Mrs. Jones was drawn instantly to his animal magnetism and her icy professional reserve soon melted away.

Quote:
MRS. JONES PRISON GOVERNORS SECRETARY
SAID:


"I'll show you what to do, you just watch then get stuck in when you're good and ready"




Obvious how that one was going to end...



kerb went through the records while in the office and pulled the jacket on MARK LEWIS and they have started hanging out, kerb liked his stabby ways and the fact he reminded him of NIKO BELLIC from GTA4.

MARK LEWIS laughs at all kerbs jokes and menaces anyone who doesn't laugh. What with the M.M.A. crowd and the blood-thirsty career criminal types at his command, people are wondering what kerb is going to do next?!?!

Kerb may not care for the RESPECT of being TOP DOG but he is a wise guy in a world full of suckers!

RESPECT!



Space
current RESPECT points: 6


>>>YOUR IMAGE IS YOUR REPUTATION<<<

Space is currently unaware that there is a paedophile ex-copper "undercover" on his wing. The authorities have already threatened/coerced ANTHONY HUGHES and he is now supposed to pass on any information or rumour he may pick up about Space immediately to Senior Prison Officer Fulton Mackay.

The other con's are looking to Space to stop this senseless maelstrom of violence they are all being plunged into!

RESPECT!


5709
current RESPECT points: 6


>>>THE ONLY THING STRAIGHT ABOUT 5709 IS THE CREASE IN HIS JEANS<<<

5709 is currently unaware that there is a paedophile ex-copper "undercover" on his wing. The authorities have already threatened/coerced ANTHONY HUGHES and he is now supposed to pass on any information or rumour he may pick up about 5709 immediately to Senior Prison Officer Fulton Mackay.

Every day people come over to his cell and bitch about drug prices, blue on blue attacks, creeps on the wing, the top dog tax, bullying, their verruca's blah blah blah.

FFS Just do one 5709 and sort this place out. These guys are killing it, they're so fucking nasty. If only he would just close his eyes then Scotland Yard will know all the details on their screens. There's sure to be a reward in it for him.

RESPECT!


ceeks
current RESPECT points: 6


>>>SHE AIN'T NO ENGLISHMAN AND SHE GOES OUT IN THE MIDDAY SUN<<<

ceeks is currently unaware that there is a paedophile ex-copper "undercover" on her wing. The authorities have already threatened/coerced ANTHONY HUGHES and he is now supposed to pass on any information or rumour he may pick up about ceeks immediately to Senior Prison Officer Fulton Mackay.

She keeps saying she was framed and maybe that's true, but then everyone says that.

Maybe she's innocent.

Maybe she knows right from wrong.

Look at the HEATWAVE this so called TOP DOG and his crew are bringing on everyone. She knows in her heart if she's not part of the solution, then she's part of the problem.

How long will she continue to stand silently by and allow this macho posturing to go unchallenged?

RESPECT!


Quin.
current RESPECT points: 4


>>>DELIVERING ON THE PROMISE<<<

Quin. is due to be released from H.M.P. HaFa Towers next week.

On parole.

Wearing a tag.

Quin. will be able to meet up with his Fam, have a fancy hotdog in the Blind Beggar, then off with everyone to watch the football, sup a few pints in his local, have a laugh and a kebab after chucking out time; back to his drum to sleep in his own bed and no-one is going to come knocking on his door, oh noes, none of that looking over your shoulder paranoid bullshit for Quin. BLISS.

RESPECT!


talibandan
Current RESPECT points = -2
BANGING THE GOVERNORS SECRETARY = 3
RECRUITING MARK LEWIS = 3
TOTAL = 4

>>>TAKE A GOOD LOOK. IT COULD BE YOUR LAST<<<

talibandan had never worked in an office before, but he begged and pleaded and to shut him up his probation officer made him Assistant to the Governors Secretary before Senior Prison Officer Fulton Mackay could blink.

Mrs. Jones was strangely drawn to his 1000 yard stare and her icy professional reserve slowly melted away.

Quote:
MRS. JONES PRISON GOVERNORS SECRETARY
SAID:


"I'll show you what to do, you just watch then get stuck in when you're good and ready"




Obvious how that one was going to end...



talibandan went through the records while in the office and pulled the jacket on MARK LEWIS. Since then he has taken to hanging out with MARK LEWIS and his cronies.

They seem to accept him as a cool guy, [for now!] and that is helping his standing with the General Population. talibandan is learning that a man needs friends in prison, especially if that prison is H.M.P. HaFa Towers!

Unfortunately talibandan is completely unaware that there is a paedophile ex-copper "undercover" on his wing. The authorities have already threatened/coerced ANTHONY HUGHES and he is now supposed to pass on any information or rumour he may pick up about talibandan immediately to Senior Prison Officer Fulton Mackay.

This may prove to be his undoing! Until then though...

RESPECT!


>>>SO PROUD!<<<

As at close of play 33% of the audience scored a FUCKING BULLSEYE!

RESPECT!


It's all to play for!

The Next Mission is the LAST MISSION:


WHO LET THE DOG OUT!


Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand the Bonus Mission is:





PICK YOUR PARTNERS FOR THE LAST TANGO IN THE TOWERS!



KING CON


only available on HaFa

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post27-09-2018 14:17 PM
Guile is online   Click Here to See the Profile for Guile   Click Here to send a Private Message to  Guile   Click Here to Email Guile       Link to this Post   Quote this message in a PM   Reply Quoting Entire Message   Reply Quoting Last Post   
Latex Zebra
Brixton Trance Underword - 28/09/18 @ Club 414

Registered: Feb 2003
Posts: 15049 - Threads: 338
Location: London



Poll Winner!
2016
óò
Winner
KING CON
Joint Winner
Day Party - Alumni
Honourable Mention
Tune - Mind Shift - Luke Warner and Latex Zebra
Winner
DJ
Winner
Resident DJ
Winner
Party Animal
Winner
Club Night - Zoology 15

Not worthy...

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post27-09-2018 18:59 PM
Latex Zebra is offline   Click Here to See the Profile for Latex Zebra  Click Here to See the DJ Page Latex Zebra   Click Here to send a Private Message to  Latex Zebra   Visit the homepage of Latex Zebra       Link to this Post   Quote this message in a PM   Reply Quoting Entire Message   Reply Quoting Last Post   
kerb

Registered: Nov 2005
Posts: 24320 - Threads: 1614
Location:

hahahahhaha

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post28-09-2018 13:05 PM
kerb is offline   Click Here to See the Profile for kerb   Click Here to send a Private Message to  kerb   Click Here to Email kerb       Link to this Post   Quote this message in a PM   Reply Quoting Entire Message   Reply Quoting Last Post   
Guile
A magnificent animal of a man

Registered: Sep 2001
Posts: 2577 - Threads: 63
Location: a wretched hive of scum and villainy

[Edited by Guile on 06-10-2018 01:39 AM]

[Edited by Guile on 06-10-2018 16:58 PM]

[Edited by Guile on 11-10-2018 21:51 PM]

THE DAY HAS COME

THE TIME IS NOW


KING CON

NOBODY CAN GIVE YOU FREEDOM

IF YOU ARE A MAN

YOU JUST TAKE IT



KING CON


THE GRAND FINALE

THE MONEY

THE DRUGS

THE WOMEN

THE POWER

THE RESPECT



A Criminal Anthropology Simulation Master Class



Contains offensive and despicable content that is too controversial and too fucking awesome for children. The stark, ugly, profound truths KING CON exposes may be soul crushing to the weak of spirit. If you allow a child to read this thread you are a bad parent or guardian. Contains strong action violence and highly sexualised posing.

Ready?
Well it's time to find out who is:



KING CON


Which of our

BAD MANZ


is the

TOP DOG

in the hive of scum and villainy that is:

H.M.P. Hafa Towers?

KING CON
2018




A lot of HaFa members are
just killing time.

BUT

One of our


TOP DOGS

is

KILLING CATS!



AND NOW...


THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH


This magnificent 10" gold plated trophy
is the reward for winning:


KING CON
2018


THE INSIGHT YOU WANT




THE INFORMATION YOU NEED




PRESENTING IN REVERSE ORDER:

Latex Zebra
current RESPECT points: 63
LOOKING LIKE THE DOGS BOLLOCKS = 3
ESCAPE ARTIST = 7
Special RESPECT bonus unlocked:
BREAKING NEWS ON TV =
5
Special RESPECT bonus unlocked:
MAKING THE HEADLINES =
5
POACHER TURNED GAMEKEEPER TEST SCORED 65% = 7
BUSINESS AS USUAL = 6
NEW TOTAL = 96

>>>LATEX ZEBRA: LION STRENGTH, MAMBA SPEED AND JACKAL CUNNING<<<

Showing his well publicised mad love for the old school, Latex Zebra had no hesitation in doing a runner with John Massey, as the man's credentials were blue chip old school gangster - the epitome of a diamond geezer.

Latex Zebra unlocked the


BREAKING NEWS ON T.V.


and the


MAKING THE HEADLINES


secret RESPECT bonuses.

Although Massey was recaptured after three days on the run, he never gave up any details of where Latex Zebra might be or where they had been.

It is surely coincidence that Massey's old mum had a significant win in the local betting shop some weeks later with her very first bet, which enabled her to pay for a life saving operation in America, an operation that cured her cancer. She now goes on 5 star holidays 3 times a year to Malaga and pays for all her family to go with her.

The level of fame and the blood soaked niche he carved for himself during his stay at H.M.P. HaFa Towers guarantee Latex Zebra a place in the Rogues Gallery of famous criminals, alongside such alumni as Ronnie Biggs, the Kray twins and mad Frankie Fraser.

Senior Prison Warden scenario
Mr Zebra was awarded a PASS. Exhibiting a consistent lack of empathy and willingness to abuse power; traits he displayed consistently throughout the simulation.

Business as Usual
With JENKS, ABDU and THE LEWIS TWINS to take care of his empire on the inside, H.M.P. HaFa Towers will continue to provide a revenue stream for Latex Zebra for years to come.

Behaviour Analysis
For Latex Zebra, this exercise has revealed that civilization for him is but a thin veneer, the lightest scratch unleashes the CRAZY HORSE lurking inside him that inhabits a senseless world of violence for the sake of violence, a creature that lives recklessly on forbidden thrills.

"Judge me in hell!" he shouted at the judge about to pronounce sentence on him before he came to H.M.P. HaFa Towers.

By anyone's standards his whole life will be judged as an orgy of sin. The first love of his life, an evil sex-crazed woman first introduced him to that underworld of dark passions. It was in the jazz clubs she took him to that he first practiced the degraded perverse pleasures he is famous for.

That first brutal weekend of jazz and junk, his passions swirling with the reefer smoke, as dissonant and savage as the jazz coming from the band, Latex Zebra took a terrifying trip through the soul jazz clubs, bizarre sex clubs and the sinister "numbers" club of London’s seething Brixton scene.


A trip that would hurricane and buffet Latex Zebra's emotions to the inevitable orgiastic, wild and frantic crescendo we saw only too often in the simulation. Needless to say in that strange, savage world of night people, hot music and cool jazz he became the undisputed king.

Jazz is his life, it's his triumph and his tragedy.

For now though we must leave him in a hotel room snorting 6-APB off a a young lady's bosoms. She is wearing either the latest thing in jazzy bathing suits or nothing at all.




WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR LATEX ZEBRA?


"A BROODING NIGHTMARE OF DIMLY PERCEIVED EVIL"


RESPECT!

wykah
current RESPECT points: 51
LOOKING LIKE THE DOGS BOLLOCKS = 3
ESCAPE ARTIST = 7
Special RESPECT bonus unlocked:
BREAKING NEWS ON TV =
5
Special RESPECT bonus unlocked:
MAKING THE HEADLINES =
5
POACHER TURNED GAMEKEEPER SCORED 63% = 6
BUSINESS AS USUAL = 4
NEW TOTAL = 81

>>>HIS MIND IS THE ULTIMATE WEAPON<<<


Deciding to escape H.M.P. HaFa Towers wykah went for the most sensible and direct method to achieve his aims. He just loves defying the odds with everyday stuff.

The tale of a fellow convict John Massey, who was idolised by his grandson touched wykah's heart. The youth was heading for a life of crime and the Home Office wouldn't grant Massey compassionate leave to see the lad and convince him to go straight.

wykah showed Massey how to duct tape old gym netting together to make a ladder and together they broke out of H.M.P. HaFa Towers and showed the world a clean pair of heels.

Massey gave himself up after three days on the run, having talked with his grandson and seen his old mum. "I promised wykah" was all he said as he handed himself in.

It is perhaps coincidence that Massey's grandson, a previously troubled youth swerved a life of crime when he went to stay at the CHALLENGERS CLUB a non-profit inner city youth centre. He gave up gang culture and his involvement in county lines. A mysterious sponsor paid for him to realise his ambitions and study medicine at Kings College London. A bright future beckons.

wykah unlocked the


BREAKING NEWS ON T.V.


and the


MAKING THE HEADLINES


secret RESPECT bonuses.

The level of fame and the blood soaked niche he carved for himself during his stay in H.M.P. HaFa Towers guarantee wykah a permanent place in the Rogues Gallery of infamous criminals, alongside such alumni as Moriarty, Frank Abagnale and Murdoc.

Senior Prison Warden scenario
Mr wykah was awarded a PASS. Exhibiting a commendable lack of empathy and abuse of power, throughout this simulation he has shown that saving the day is all in a days work for him.

Business as Usual
With ABDU and THE LEWIS TWINS to take care of his empire on the inside, H.M.P. HaFa Towers will continue to provide a revenue stream for wykah for years to come.

Behaviour Analysis
A non-violent problem solver, this simulation has forced wykah to compromise some of his principles. He fought to find a way to minimize physical harm and never lost his passion for social causes and the environment. Combine this with his extensive knowledge of physics and chemistry, his mountain climbing and racing cars, painting and playing the guitar, this criminal masterclass for wykah has been AN EPIC OF A GENIUS AT BAY. It could go either way. With his [t]rusty Sheriff's badge, roll of duct tape and some paperclips wykah can rob any bank, using the same items and some shoelaces dipped in cooking oil he could also save the entire gorilla population of the Democratic Republic of Congo.

For now though we must leave him in his houseboat cooking up a BOMB



WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR WYKAH?



"YOU DON'T NEED A WEAPON IF YOU'RE ARMED WITH AN IMAGINATION!"


RESPECT!

pieman
current RESPECT points: 67
LOOKING LIKE THE DOGS BOLLOCKS = 3
BUSINESS AS USUAL = 5
NEW TOTAL = 75

>>>PIEMAN: CRIMINALITY BRED IN THE MAW OF A FURIOUS TEMPEST<<<

Impossibly glamorous and under educated, pieman is most certainly a psychopath. He is not crazy; he is fully aware of what he is doing, and the consequences of those actions. There can only be one reason pieman has not come out of his cell yet again this week.




The level of fame and the blood soaked niche he carved for himself during his stay in H.M.P. HaFa Towers guarantee pieman a permanent place in the Rogues Gallery of infamous criminals, alongside such alumni as David Hunt, Billy Hill and Tony Montana.

Business as Usual
With JENKS, ALEX and THE LEWIS TWINS to take care of his empire on the inside, H.M.P. HaFa Towers will continue to provide a revenue stream for pieman for years to come.

Behaviour Analysis
In pieman’s neighbourhood, where he grew up the kids carried knives, chains, bricks. Broken glass. And when they fight, they fight dirty, leaving the streets littered with the bodies of the injured and the dead. His childhood toys were knives, saps and zip guns.

How many men has this savage killed? Survival in the violence ridden social jungle he inhabits is a matter of brawn and cunning, a switch blade knife and the dark flight through alleys.

His life is not a pretty picture and in this simulation pieman has spared us no details of the death, the dope and the degenerate sex he has with the wild and wanton girls dancing and smoking gak he "picks up" in the cellar clubs of the west end.

pieman has shown he is aggressive and predatory in nature and without remorse. The other people he encounters are mere objects for his amusement and profit. Although lacking empathy, pieman has a disarming or even charming personality. Being manipulative means he can easily gain people’s trust, and will appear normal to unsuspecting people. His sick lust for the blood and pain of others ensures his criminal versatility is a tour de force

He is the dog who can be guaranteed to outwit the cops, make off with the dough and get the girl. Just don't get in his fucking way.

For now though, we must leave him, a sorry shadow of his former self, fucking around in H.M.P. HaFa Towers, a small time tough in a big time world.



WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR PIEMAN?


"FIGHTING GOOD FOR ALL MANKIND"


RESPECT!

Coops
current RESPECT points: 39
LOOKING LIKE THE DOGS BOLLOCKS = 3
ESCAPE ARTIST = 7
Special RESPECT bonus unlocked:
BREAKING NEWS ON TV =
5
Special RESPECT bonus unlocked:
MAKING THE HEADLINES =
5
BUSINESS AS USUAL = 5
NEW TOTAL = 64

>>>THE CARDS WERE STACKED UP AGAINST HIM ALL HIS LIFE, BUT HE CAME OUT WITH BOTH FISTS SWINGING LIKE A MAN<<<

Coops takes care of his family, and he also takes care of his FAM. Family are of course people who are actually blood relatives of Coops, but his FAM is made up of people who are very close friends and under his protection. Coops is very loyal to the core of people who he can rely on and who rely on him, be they blood relative or friend.

So when a cousin on his mothers side - John Massey came to Coops and explained he wanted to visit his dying sister and had been denied compassionate leave, Coops had no hesitation. Massey had escaped several times previously from jail - always to visit his family at times when they needed him most.

Quote:
Coops:

"A man who doesn’t spend time with his family can never be a real man"




Coops was bored of jail life and this request gave him the impetus to up sticks and have it away on his toes with Massey. Massey gave himself up after three days on the run, having visited his dying sister and seen his old mum. "I promised Coops" was all he said as he handed himself in.

It is of course a coincidence that Massey's sister Carol had a full blown New Orleans style funeral complete with black horses with ostrich plumes drawing the coffin and a jazz band leading the funeral cortège. Afterwards Carol's young, orphaned daughter went to a finishing school in Switzerland and then went on to study particle physics at the University of Manchester; all paid for by some mysterious uncle who "lived abroad". A bright future beckons.

Coops unlocked the


BREAKING NEWS ON T.V.


and the


MAKING THE HEADLINES


secret RESPECT bonuses.

The level of fame and the blood soaked niche he carved for himself during his stay in H.M.P. HaFa Towers guarantee Coops a permanent place in the Rogues Gallery of infamous criminals, alongside such alumni as George Cornell, Kenneth Noye and Johnny Allen.

Business as Usual
With ABDU and ALEX to take care of his empire on the inside, H.M.P. HaFa Towers will continue to provide a revenue stream for Coops for years to come.

Behaviour Analysis
Coops is playing the long game with his career in crime. Fully aware that life is not a sprint he will always consider all the options before striking. If circumstances prevent him from being able to plan every move like a chess grandmaster before he agrees to a caper he will pass on what have previously turned out to be sound criminal opportunities. Coops is prepared for that as it also ensures he doesn't make mistakes. Some have taken this as a sign of weakness, these fools are not around any more.

His family and his FAM are very important to him and he will throw caution to the wind should they be threatened in any way. He is prepared to wait to dish out revenge but the inevitable retribution when it happens is merciless and bloody.

For now though, we must leave him spending time with his family on a Mediterranean holiday




WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR COOPS?


"WE WHO SIN"



RESPECT!


Voodoobass
current RESPECT points: 35

>>>A PSYCHOTIC WANTON LOST IN A WORLD OF SINSANITY<<<


What does he have that every woman wants?


The level of fame and the blood soaked niche he carved for himself during his stay in H.M.P. HaFa Towers guarantee Voodoobass a permanent place in the Rogues Gallery of infamous criminals, alongside such alumni as Mickey Green, Keith Raniere and Tommy Vercetti.

Behaviour Analysis
Voodoobass is at first glance, seen as a courteous man, a man of class and sophistication. He is charming, intelligent and extremely glib. This is a good observation, as Voodoobass truly believes himself to be all those things and wants everyone else to share this opinion.

When the mask slips, and it does slip, he is revealed as a master of manipulation and a cheap con artist. Voodoobass is a psychopath and a calculating sadist. He has no remorse or empathy for his victims.

Recall this maniac was transferred to Broadmoor, a prison for the criminally insane during this simulation. He has also spent time in solitary.

Is his sickness cause physical or psychological? Doctors are unsure, they have discovered no wonder-drug for the passionate fever that burns in him, although Voodoobass self medicates with the full alphabet soup of drugs his lifestyle gives him access to.

Some men will stoop to anything, as long as there women who will stoop with them. Was it cruelty for its own sake that intrigued these warped women? Or did each have a reason to hunger for the forbidden practices Voodoobass subjected them to?

Born to lust, he lives in sin.

For now though, we must leave him seeking to appease the fiery hungers that burn so intensely within his feverish body!



WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR VOODOOBASS?



"A BRUTAL HARD HITTING EXPOSE OF A MAN OBSESSED BY THRILL DRUGS AND UNCONTROLLABLE DESIRES!"


RESPECT!


kerb
Current RESPECT points= 15

>>>A RECKLESS YOUTH CORRODED BY SIN<<<

A daring life full of reefer smoke, crazy thrills and the wild love he gets from the tramp girl gangs of the city streets. His experiences are a biting indictment of a society blind to the needs of neglected youth. Hear his story and you'll never rest easy again.

Mandem know many things, but he's no grass!

For now we must leave him in H.M.P. HaFa Towers doing a ten year stretch


WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR KERB?



"THE STREET IS HIS JUNGLE AND TROUBLE IS HIS GAME!"


RESPECT!

Space
current RESPECT points: 6


>>>YOUR IMAGE IS YOUR REPUTATION<<<

The other con's are looking to Space to stop this senseless maelstrom of violence they are all being plunged into! However Space has other things on his mind. Things from the old days when he was on the out, the tawdry glamour and sordid lusts he freely indulged in, things sex mad Space can no longer have. He craves and refuses to acknowledge his cravings with reckless abandon.

An explosion is inevitable, and the wanton splurge of carnal lusts will shatter old loyalties, business arrangements, marriage ties, and even the degenerate cravings which had started the trouble in the first place.

For now though we must leave him in H.M.P. HaFa Towers doing a ten year stretch.


WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR SPACE?


"HE MIXES THE HEADY WINE OF ECSTASY WITH THE BITTER LIQUEUR OF SADISM!"


RESPECT!


5709
current RESPECT points: 6


>>>THE ONLY THING STRAIGHT ABOUT 5709 IS THE CREASE IN HIS JEANS<<<

5709 IS the face of lust. He is a fan of forbidden, secret practices. He dwells in a sick and twisted world. Every day his fellow degenerates come over to his cell and they bitch about drug prices, the menace of peeping toms, the lack of high bosoms on the wing, share "special" bedroom techniques, recall the ruthless lesbians they have known blah blah blah.

Is this group therapy or group sex? These guys are killing it, they're so fucking nasty. If only 5709 would just close his eyes then Scotland Yard would know all the details on their screens. There's sure to be a reward in it for him.

For now we must leave him in H.M.P. HaFa Towers doing a ten year stretch.


WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR 5709?


"SPICING HIS JADED LIFE WITH SORDID EXPERIMENTS!"


RESPECT!

ceeks
current RESPECT points: 6


>>>SHE AIN'T NO ENGLISHMAN AND SHE GOES OUT IN THE MIDDAY SUN<<<

Her body is brazen, her eyes bold — she is bad, and she knows it. Ceeks hates the grim prison, the corrupt warders, the rigid routine that is supposed to batter her into decency.

Brutal, compellingly honest, this is the story of the wild one, the reformatory girl who lives and loves by the laws of the street!

For now though we must leave her in H.M.P. HaFa Towers doing a ten year stretch.

WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR CEEKS?



"SOME BIRDS ARE NOT MEANT TO BE CAGED!"


RESPECT!


Quin.
current RESPECT points: 4


>>>DELIVERING ON THE PROMISE<<<

Quin. has been released from H.M.P. HaFa Towers.

On parole.

Wearing a tag.

Quin. will be able to claim JSA of £73.10 a week and maybe his local council will offer some pathetic financial assistance. He has a series of meetings set up with Probation, NACRO, and so on.

Saturday though he is catching up with his Fam, having a fancy hotdog in the Blind Beggar, then off with everyone to watch the football; sup a few pints in his local, have a laugh and a kebab after chucking out time; then back to his drum to sleep in his own bed and no-one is going to come knocking on his door, oh noes; none of that looking over your shoulder paranoid bullshit anymore for Quin.

For now though we must leave him waiting to discuss his claim with a bearded lady in the council offices.


WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR QUIN.?


"THE BAR RATTLERS PLAYING STAIRWAY TO HELL"


RESPECT!


talibandan
Current RESPECT points = 4

>>>TAKE A GOOD LOOK. IT REALLY IS YOUR LAST<<<


His is a tale of two cities one in the north and the other in the south.

A story of when two cultures clash.

talibandan’s adventures and travails as he struggles to deal with street life in the ghetto of the city and escape the clutches of a gang called the Thrill Mad Playboys who all compete with each other to be the "first to cut the cake" is a comical, bitter sweet and to be blunt - fucking ridiculous farce.

He worships reptiles. He blackens his eyes with soot like a prostitute. He dances and plays the cymbals.

Additionally drug dealing, pillow fights, prostitution, tartan skirts, unspeakable perverted practices, and gambling are rampant in his life. One day the inevitable police dragnet closed around him.

Even behind bars for talibandan it's unusual business as usual, and abnormal pleasures as normal!

For now though we must leave him in H.M.P. HaFa Towers doing a ten year stretch.


WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR TALIBANDAN?


"HE IS FORCED TO COMMIT THE LOWEST ACTS!"


RESPECT!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAND NOW...



The roll of the drums

The click of the semi automatic

The spliff of Congolese Red

The sneer of contempt

Your Life in his hands

Your Death on his mind


The shattering impact of this story

Is perhaps the most


EXPLOSIVE

seen since

HaFa BEGAN!



FORGET WHAT'S LEGAL

HE DOES WHAT'S RIGHT


THE STORY OF A MAN

THEY COULD NOT BREAK

THEY COULD NOT HUMILIATE

THEY COULD NOT INCARCERATE

HE IS


THE KING CON


>>>>>LATEX ZEBRA<<<<<


>>>MAXIMUM RESPECT<<<


ARCHIVES:
KC Ep#1 KC Bonus#1
KC Ep#2 KC Bonus#2
KC Ep#3 KC Bonus#3
KC Ep#4 KC Bonus#4
KC Ep#5 KC Bonus#5
KC Ep#6 KC Bonus#6
KC Ep#7 KC Bonus#7
KC Ep#8 KC Bonus#8

THANK YOU FOR PLAYING


KING CON



Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post06-10-2018 00:04 AM
Guile is online   Click Here to See the Profile for Guile   Click Here to send a Private Message to  Guile   Click Here to Email Guile       Link to this Post   Quote this message in a PM   Reply Quoting Entire Message   Reply Quoting Last Post   
Latex Zebra
Brixton Trance Underword - 28/09/18 @ Club 414

Registered: Feb 2003
Posts: 15049 - Threads: 338
Location: London



Poll Winner!
2016
óò
Winner
KING CON
Joint Winner
Day Party - Alumni
Honourable Mention
Tune - Mind Shift - Luke Warner and Latex Zebra
Winner
DJ
Winner
Resident DJ
Winner
Party Animal
Winner
Club Night - Zoology 15

My fascination of incarceration has finally come good.

Thanks for your efforts on this Guile. It's been great fun to play!

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post06-10-2018 15:15 PM
Latex Zebra is offline   Click Here to See the Profile for Latex Zebra  Click Here to See the DJ Page Latex Zebra   Click Here to send a Private Message to  Latex Zebra   Visit the homepage of Latex Zebra       Link to this Post   Quote this message in a PM   Reply Quoting Entire Message   Reply Quoting Last Post   
wykah
What would Macgyver do?

Registered: Jul 2005
Posts: 8025 - Threads: 436
Location: Hackbridge, Surrey

You have an incredibly creative mind Guile. Thanks for giving us a chance to be silly for a few weeks Smile

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post06-10-2018 17:15 PM
wykah is offline   Click Here to See the Profile for wykah   Click Here to send a Private Message to  wykah   Click Here to Email wykah   Visit the homepage of wykah       Link to this Post   Quote this message in a PM   Reply Quoting Entire Message   Reply Quoting Last Post   
Guile
A magnificent animal of a man

Registered: Sep 2001
Posts: 2577 - Threads: 63
Location: a wretched hive of scum and villainy

[Edited by Guile on 06-10-2018 22:46 PM]

Quote:
Latex Zebra wrote on 06-10-2018 03:15 PM

My fascination of incarceration has finally come good.

Thanks for your efforts on this Guile. It's been great fun to play!



Thanks, it can't have been as much fun as I had doing it!

RESPECT

Hope you'll join in on the next Criminal Anthropology simulation:



BUILD A CRIMINAL EMPIRE


BECOME

THE BOSS


j/k
Wink

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post06-10-2018 17:25 PM
Guile is online   Click Here to See the Profile for Guile   Click Here to send a Private Message to  Guile   Click Here to Email Guile       Link to this Post   Quote this message in a PM   Reply Quoting Entire Message   Reply Quoting Last Post   
All times are GMT. The time now is 00:39:07         Pages (5):  1  2  [3]  4  5   Post New Thread    Post A Reply
Forum Jump:

Forum Rules:
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may post attachments
You may edit your posts
You may delete your posts
HTML code is OFF
BB Code is ON
Smilies are ON
 

HarderFaster Jump
Bookmark and Share
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective companies. All other content is (c) 2001-2018 HarderFaster.

Terms and Conditions | Privacy Statement | Text Mode